Thomas Merton writes:
"I am tired of being my own Providence, or wanting and seeking things for myself, of making decisions for myself, and yet, quite apart from my own will, I am in this complex of things that seem to stand between me and God. All I want, Jesus, is more and more to abandon everything to You. The more I go on, the more I realize I don't know where I am going. Lead me and take complete control of me." (A Year With Thomas Merton, June 23)
This is an important spiritual lesson to learn; viz., the depth of our addiction to control and our need to be released from the illusion that we are in control (similiar to Jacque Ellul's "illusion of technique").
Henri Nouwen writes much about getting free from our need to control other people and situations. He cites Jesus' words to Peter in John 21: "I'm telling you the very truth now: When you were young you dressed yourself and went wherever you wished, but when you get old you'll have to stretch out your hands while someone else dresses you and takes you where you don't want to go."
...And takes you where you don't want to go.
This is hard for the control freak who, in their own mind, is their own Providence.
Trusting in God means letting go of control.
Pray: "God, lead me. Take me where you want me to go."