Conflict Reveals Character

(Downtown Monroe)

I've always thought that who a person really is, is who they are in their home. This is because a home is made of people living under the same roof who are not normal like you. The people in your home, whether old or young, are different. We see who you really are by the way you handle "different."

Differences can attract - that's good. Maybe that's why you married the person you did. She had something you did not have, and maybe you thought she would complete you. 

Differences can also collide. Differences can repel, like positive and negative magnetic poles. Differences conflict. A husband and wife are, in a few ways at least, polar opposites. Husbands and wives conflict, at times. There are no exceptions to this. Many are in denial, or fearful, about this.

From God's perspective, this is very good. Differences can complement. In Genesis we read, "And God created polar opposites, and saw that it was good." And, BTW, God is different from you. God's ways are not your ways. That fact is a transcendent good which we minimally grasp.

Conflict, therefore, is inevitable. Conflict is normal. If there's no conflict in your home, you have a problem. Probably, that problem is you. Or, at least, you are part of the problem. Always consider this possibility, for it reorients you on the road to being a peacemaker.

James van Yperen, in Making Peace, writes:

"Conflict reveals the true character of a leader. Jesus told His disciples, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven…. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” (Matthew 5:43-46). Who we are is revealed by how we react to persecution." (p. 26)

If differences irritate you, that is your problem. If different approaches and styles "push your buttons," those buttons are yours. Own up to this and you are on your way to character formation.

***
My books are:

The Great Invasion: 31 Days of Christmas

Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God (May 2016)

Leading the Presence-Driven Church (January 2018)

Deconstructing Progressive Christianity

31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship

31 Letters to the Church on Praying

Encounters With the Holy Spirit (Co-edited with Janice Trigg)

FORGIVENESS: Some Resources

 

 

(Leading the Presence-Driven Church students, Faith Bible Seminary, NYC)

(I'm re-posting this to keep it in play.)

A QUIZ

Which one is the road to freedom?

a. to forgive

b. to nurture an offense

Linda and I are always talking with people about forgiveness. Here are  links to things I have written about forgiveness.

We all need it, and need to learn it, and practice it. 

For Jesus-followers, this is the heart and soul of the Gospel. 

I bless you all with hearts of forgiveness!

Why Is Self-forgiveness Harder than Forgiving Others?

Confess and Forgive

Self-Forgiveness and Liberation from the Past

To Forgive or to Punish?

Moving From Self-Hatred to Self-Forgiveness

Confession & Forgiveness: The Foundation of All Authentic Relationship

C&F (Confess & Forgive)

Sermon Notes - Forgiveness as a Gateway to Healing

Self-Forgiveness Often Includes Making Amends with Others

How to Forgive Yourself

Forgiving Others - Three Stages

The Best Book on Self-Forgiveness Is...

Are You a Forgiving Person? Take The Forgiveness Quiz

To Withhold Forgiveness is the Core Evil of the Kingdom of Darkness

***

For empirical research on the benefits and power of forgiveness, see Robert Enright's International Forgiveness Institute.

BOOKS

Lewis Smedes, Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve

David Seamands, Healing for Damaged Emotions

Everett Worthington, Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to Wholeness and Hope

Worthington, Moving Forward: Six Steps to Forgiving Yourself and Breaking Free from the Past

Robert Enright, 8 Keys to Forgiveness (8 Keys to Mental Health)

Enright, The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love

David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Forgive

Timothy Keller, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?

Help for Worrying

 

 

(Cancun sunrise)

I still worry too much. My worry comes from losing spiritual focus. 

I can mentally acknowledge that God is with me. But there are times when this truth does not capture my heart. At that point, I am susceptible to worry.  

Here are things that combat worry.

• Spending solitary praying time with God. This restores my heart to its proper place. In His presence, my agitated soul finds rest.
• Being in community with my brothers and sisters. Authentic Christian community absorbs worry. (Thank God for the small groups Linda and I have been in over the years!)
• Reading Scripture and meditating on it. Scripture escorts my heart into His presence. 
• Listening to experienced Jesus-followers, and learning from them. Many of my mentors and spiritual counselors have dispensed wisdom that has defeated worry.
• Remembering how God has been with me.
• Counting my blessings. (I often carry a list of them, looking at them, and giving thanks to God for them.)
• Organizing and doing. Taking action, where I am able and available. 
• Walking in obedience. Living righteously secures my attachment to Jesus.
• Worshiping. When my soul sings, worry flees.

Doing these things recapture my heart.
My renewed heart experiences God with me,
working through me,
assuring me that I am not alone,
and that He is with me.

***

My Books

 Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God

Leading the Presence-Driven Church

Encounters with the Holy Spirit (co-edited with Janice Trigg)

Deconstructing Progressive Christianity

31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship

31 Letters tom the Church on Praying

The Great Invasion: 31 Days of Christmas

Dysfunctional characteristics of toxic leaders

(Rift Valley, Kenya)

When I was in Kenya doing a pastors conference I spent a day with a friend who was a PhD student doing research on African political leaders. One book he recommended to me was The Allure of Toxic Leaders, by  Jean Lipman-Blumen.

Here are Lipman-Blumen's... Dysfunctional characteristics of toxic leaders.

• Lack of integrity that marks the leader as cynical, corrupt, hypocritical, or untrustworthy

• Insatiable ambition that prompts leaders to put their own sustained power, glory, and fortunes above their followers’ well-being

• Enormous egos that blind leaders to the shortcomings of their own character and thus limit their capacity for self-renewal

• Arrogance that prevents acknowledging their mistakes and, instead, leads to blaming others

• Amorality that makes it near impossible for them to discern right from wrong

• Avarice that drives leaders to put money and what money can buy at the top of the list

• Reckless disregard for the costs of their actions to others as well as to themselves

• Cowardice that leads them to shrink from the difficult choices

• Failure both to understand the nature of relevant problems and to act competently and effectively in leadership situations

My Christmas Devotional Book

 

This is a 31-day devotional book, based on the life of Jesus.

The book's thesis is: the more we know about Jesus, the greater our worship of Him will be.

This book offers a deep dive into the story of Jesus.

Thirty-one days that will enrich the Christmas season!

Non-Discursive Experiences of God

                                                    (Lake Erie, a few miles from our house.)

Howard Thurman writes:

"The central fact in religious experience is the awareness of meeting God. The descriptive words used are varied: sometimes it is called an encounter; sometimes, a confrontation; and sometimes, a sense of Presence. What is insisted on, however, without regard to the term used, is that in the experience defined as religious, the individual is seen as exposed to direct knowledge of ultimate meaning, ne plus ultra being, in which all that the individual is, becomes clear as immediate and often distinct revelation. He is face to face with something that is so much more, and so much more inclusive, than all of his awareness of himself that for him, in the moment, there are no questions. Without asking, somehow he knows." (Howard Thurman: Essential Writings, pp. 38-39)

Thurman is describing the quality of what I refer to as non-discursive experiences.

A non-discursive experience is an experience that is felt and "known" as real, but which cannot be captured in the steel nets of literal language. One has such experiences, but cannot discourse about them. (On religious experiences that "I know that I know that I know" but cannot speak of, see James K.A. Smith, Thinking in Tongues.)

I experience God in a variety of ways, many of which are non-discursive. This is how it should be, right? None of us has epistemic access to the being of God. We fail to fully understand what it's like to be all-knowing, or all-loving, or all-powerful.

The expression of a non-discursive experience is confessional and testimonial. There is a sense in which it cannot be refuted. What does this mean? Say, for example, that I now feel joy. I make the statement, “Now I feel joy.” It would be odd, in a Wittgensteinian-kind of way, for someone to say “You’re wrong.” That would be leaving the language-game I’m now playing. (Wittgensteinian “playing” is what I have here in mind.)

Consider the statement, “I felt God close to me today.” Even a philosophical materialist could not doubt that today I had some kind of numinous experience which I describe as God being with me. They could doubt that what caused my experience was “God.” I understand this. But their doubt has no effect on my experience and the interpretation of it. Their doubt does not make me a doubter, precisely because I am not a philosophical materialist. I see no reason to disbelieve my experiences because others do not have them. This relates, I think, to Oxford philosopher Richard Swinburne's "principle of credulity."

At this point I’m influenced by theistic philosophers Alvin Plantinga and William P. Alston. For them, belief in God is properly basic if the noetic framework of Christian theism is true. Plantinga’s work on “warranted belief” and Alston’s work on the “experiential basis of theism” is helpful here. Alston writes: 

“the relatively abstract belief that God exists is constitutive of the doxastic practice of forming particular beliefs about God's presence and activity in our lives on the basis of theistic experience.” 

For Alston, experiential support for theism is analogous to experiential support for belief in the physical world. He explains what he means by “theistic experience.” He writes:

I “mean it to range over all experiences that are taken by the experiencer to be an awareness of God (where God is thought of theistically). I impose no restrictions on its phenomenal quality. It could be a rapturous loss of conscious self-identity in the mystical unity with God; it could involve "visions and voices"; it could be an awareness of God through the experience of nature, the words of the Bible, or the interaction with other persons; it could be a background sense of the presence of God, sustaining one in one's ongoing activities. Thus the category is demarcated by what cognitive significance the subject takes it to have, rather than by any distinctive phenomenal feel.”

For Plantinga, if the noetic framework of Christian theism is true, then I can expect to experience God. God exists, has made us in his image, has placed a moral consciousness within us, has revealed himself in the creation, and desires for us to know him. Plantinga, of course, believes this noetic framework is true. As do I. One then expects experiential encounters with God. They come to us, as Alston says, like sense-experiences.

This is to argue for the rationality of theistic experiences. One can have “warrant” for the belief that such experiences are from God. But these experiences do not function as “proofs” of God’s existence.

Non-discursive experiences, and experiences in general, cannot be caught in the steel nets of literal language. “Experience” qua experience has what French philosopher Paul Ricoeur has called a “surplus of meaning.” “Words” never capture all of experience. All experiencing has a non-discursive quality. Here the relationship of words to experiencing leads to volumes of discussion in areas such as linguistic semantics and philosophy of language.

Even a sentence as seemingly simple as “I see a tree” is, phenomenally, incomplete. Consider this experience: sitting on an ocean beach watching the sun set with the person you are falling in love with. Ricoeur called such experiences “limit-experiences”; viz., experiences that arise outside the limits of thought and language. But people want to express, in words, these events. For that, Ricoeur says a “limit-language” is needed, such as metaphorical expression. So-called “literal language” cannot capture limit-experiences.

Every person has limit-experiences that are non-discursive.

Experience, not theory, breeds conviction. Theorizing either for or against God is not as convincing as the sense of the presence of God or the sense of the absence of God. This is why I keep returning to my “conversion experience.”

Among the God-experiences I consistently have are:
- A sense that God is with me
- Numinous experiences of awe and wonder (not mere “Einsteinian wonder”)
- God speaking to me
- God leading me
- God comforting me
- God’s love expressed towards me
- God’s Spirit convicting me
- God directing me
- Overwhelming experience of God
- God revealing more of himself to me

These experiences are mediated through:
-Corporate worship
-Individuals
-Solitary times of prayer
-Study of the Christian scriptures
-Observing the creation
-In difficult and testing situations

Sometimes I have experienced God in an unmediated way.

I discern and judge such things to be experiences of God because...
-I spend many hours a week praying
-I have heavily invested myself in prayer and meditation for the past 42+ years
-I saturate myself in the Christian scriptures
-I study the history of Christian spirituality
-I keep a spiritual journal and have 3000+ pages of journal entries concerning God-experiences
-I hang out with people who do all of the above
- I've taught this material in various seminaries, at conferences, in the United States & elsewhere around the world. I've gained a multi-ethnic perspective on the subject of experiencing God.

All this increases one’s diacritical ability (dia-krisis; “discernment”; lit. “to cut through”). Spiritual diacritical ability is mostly acquired. It is in direct proportion to familiarity.

The more we live in connection with God, the more familiar we will be with the presence of God. We will speak of it, and our words will fall short of expressing it, which is how it should be.



***

My books are:

The Great Invasion: Thirty-One Days of Christmas

Leading the Presence-Driven Church

Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God

Encounters with the Holy Spirit (co-edited with Janice Trigg)

31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship

31 Letters to the Church on Praying

Deconstructing Progressive Christianity

Universalism - The Opiate of the Theologians

                                                            (Sterling State Park, Monroe)

Years ago, when I was teaching as an adjunct professor at Palmer Theological Seminary, I was talking with Craig Keener (Palmer, at the time) in his office. I asked him, what are books you recommend on the subject of Christology? He went to a bookshelf and pulled out Michael McClymond's Familiar Stranger: An Introduction to Jesus of Nazareth. Craig said, "This is very good."

So, I bought another book. And have come to value McClymond as an excellent scholar.

His recent book is The Devil's Redemption: A New History and Interpretation of Christian Universalism. Here's a synopsis.

"Will all evil finally turn to good, or does some evil remain stubbornly opposed to God and God's goodness? Will even the devil be redeemed? Addressing a theological issue of perennial interest, this comprehensive book (in two volumes) surveys the history of Christian universalism from the second to the twenty-first century and offers an interpretation of how and why universalist belief arose. The author explores what the church has taught about universal salvation and hell and critiques universalism from a biblical, philosophical, and theological standpoint. He shows that the effort to extend grace to everyone undermines the principle of grace for anyone."

And, from the book...

"Will all people eventually be saved? Will all evil finally turn to good, or does some evil remain fully and stubbornly opposed to God and God's goodness? Will even the devil be redeemed?

The question of the devil's final salvation has been continuously debated since the time of Origen. This comprehensive book surveys the history of Christian universalism from the second to the twenty-first century and offers an interpretation of how and why universalist belief arose. Michael McClymond explores what the church has taught about universal salvation and hell and offers a critique of universalism from a biblical, philosophical, and theological standpoint. He shows that the effort to extend grace to everyone undermines the principle of grace for anyone."

Wow. And... wow, $58. Some day, hopefully, in the near future.

Craig Keener reviews the book and writes:

"A timely and fascinating book on a crucial topic that probably only an omnicompetent historical theologian like Michael McClymond could write. McClymond shows that while the notion of universal salvation has attractive features, it does not have a very encouraging spiritual or theological track record in the history of the church."

Amos Yong (Fuller Theo. Sem.) writes,

"Erudite! Encyclopedic! Exhaustive! A universal discussion that leaves no stone unturned, no stream uncharted, and no argument untouched. Even as McClymond is unflinching in defending the historic orthodox consensus against the idea of universal salvation, his is a generous orthodoxy, the persuasiveness of which undoubtedly rests at least in part on his having taken time to listen to marginal voices and seriously grapple with the broadest extent of their claims within local and even global contexts. It will be a long time before universalist theologians will be able to make a compelling case that is as comprehensive as that of The Devil's Redemption."

CT interviews McClymond here - "How Universalism, 'the Opiate of the Theologians," Went Mainstream."

A Disciple of Jesus Grows in Discernment

 

I began taking guitar lessons at age five. I have taught and played guitar for seventy-two years. (How old am I?)

I have some familiarity with guitars. On a basic level, I am able to discern whether a guitar is in tune, or out of tune. I can hear chords played, and without looking at the guitar being played, tell you what chord it is. (Mostly, not entirely…) I can listen to a song for the first time, and (mostly) immediately play it. (Really accomplished guitarists do this better than I can.)  

I became a disciple of Jesus just before my twenty-first birthday. I have talked and walked and lived with Jesus for fifty-five years. (How old am I?) Jesus became to me, as one scholar calls him, a “familiar stranger.”

From the beginning, Jesus was familiar to me. I felt safe, at home, with him. Coming to Jesus was a great homecoming!   

Just as the first disciples found the ways and words of Jesus strange, like his use of parables, so did I. Yet I, like those disciples, was, and remain, attracted to him.  

I am familiar with Jesus. This is important, since...   

Discernment is a function of familiarity.

Discernment is in direct proportion to intimacy.  

Apprentices become familiar with the thoughts and ways of their teachers. My Teacher has taught me this: The more I know him, the more I see and understand him.  

This is what happens to disciples of Christ. May it be so, in you.

DECLARATIONS  

I am becoming more familiar with Jesus every day.  

I am able to discern spiritual realities.  

I can separate the good from the evil.  

Revelation from Jesus is increasing in me.  

It excites me to think there is so much more to Jesus waiting for me to comprehend.  

There is no greater privilege than knowing Jesus my Lord!

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship)

Start Your Morning with This! Phil Driscoll - You Are So Beautiful

Billy Preston wrote "You Are So Beautiful" as a worship song. Here, Phil Driscoll explains.



Then, Driscoll does a phenomenal rendition of it. Stay with it to the very end!

The Discipline of Gratitude Thwarts Catastrophic Thinking

 

Monroe County

I'm enjoying reading Loving God with Your Mind: Essays in Honor of J. P. Moreland. It's only $2.99 on Kindle! 

In his concluding remarks, J.P. has some important things to say, for the future of the Church, and its leaders. I was especially helped by his comments on practicing the discipline of thanksgiving. He writes:

"I practice the discipline of gratitude. Due to my heredity and upbringing, I have a predisposition to anxiety and depression. One way to avoid these is to train yourself to see the glass half full and not half empty, that is, to habitualize a positive, thankful approach to life. And the best way to do that involves a negative and a positive step. Negatively, learn to spot early on any catastrophizing or totalizing thoughts you have in which you take fears and so forth, blow them up out of proportion, and engage in fearful, negative self-talk. When you spot the negative thought, tell yourself that it isn’t true, that it is overstated, and seek to undermine the thought. Then, positively, turn to God in prayer and thank Him for, say, five to six things in your life, ranging from little things like the taste of coffee to large things like friends and family. I will do this around one hundred times a day, and by now, such expressions of gratitude have become a habit and they have colored my perception of life. The discipline of gratitude keeps one from becoming sour on life and is very, very life giving." (p. 225) 

In Philippians 4 Paul tells Jesus-followers to "not be anxious for anything. (v. 6) The biblical word for 'anxious' is often used in contexts where persecution is happening. For example, in Matthew 10:19, where Jesus counsels his disciples. He said, "When they arrest you, do not be anxious about what to say or how to say it."

When Paul counsels the Philippian Christians to not be anxious, it's not like he is sitting down to a sumptuous Thanksgiving dinner. He's in prison! The context is: persecution! These Jesus-followers were suffering under opposition fro their pagan neighbors, just as Paul and Silas had suffered when among them (Acts 16:19-24; Phil. 1:28-30).

I know what worry and anxiety are like. I have, in troubling times, felt consumed by them. So I ask - how realistic is it to be told “Be anxious about nothing?” Paul’s answer, and his experiential reality, is found in his rich, ongoing prayer life. He writes: ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I have proof that this works, (following Henri Nouwen, in his book Gracias!): When I don’t pray I am more easily filled with worry, and fear. In the act of praying I enter into the caregiving of the Great Physician, who dials down the anxiety.

In everyday prayer-conferencing with God, I present my requests to him. I lay my burdens before him (See 1 Peter 5:7). I have a Father God who loves me, in whom I trust. Where there is trust, there is neither worry nor anxiety. A person with a praying life grows in trust, and diminishes in anxiety. A praying person discovers, experientially, that trust and anxiety are inversely proportionate. 

Paul writes that our prayers should be accompanied “with thanksgiving.” Ben Witherington writes: “Paul believes there is much to be said for praying in the right spirit or frame of mind.” This is significant for the Roman Philippians, since pagan prayers did not include thanksgiving. Roman prayers were often fearful, bargaining prayers, not based on a relationship with some loving god.

Witherington adds: “Prayer with the attitude of thanksgiving is a stress-buster.”

John Wesley said that thanksgiving is the surest evidence of a soul free from anxiety.

J. P. Moreland counsels that the discipline of gratitude thwarts catastrophic thinking.

The antidote for worry and anxiety is: praying, with thanksgiving.