A Disciple Grows in Compassion

 (I'm re-posting this for a friend.)

​Jesus looked on the crowds and, 

seeing they were like sheep without a shepherd, 

had compassion on them.  

Matthew 9:36

In my fifty-four years of following Jesus, my compassion for people has grown.

The word compassion means to feel with others. Jesus told me, years ago, that my capacity for feeling with others must increase. Here is one way Jesus has mentored me in compassion.  

I had just finished my seminary degree. My plans were to go immediately to a doctoral program. This did not happen. I applied to two universities. Both applications were too late. I would have to take a year off my studies.  

I needed a job. My sister-in-law Lora was working as a teacher at United Cerebral Palsy Center of Will County, Illinois. She suggested I apply as a teacher's assistant.

I interviewed with the Director of the United Cerebral Palsy Center. Her name was Gretchen Lantz. For part of the interview she took me to the boys' bathroom. She said, "I don't want to mislead you. You will be spending a lot of time in this room toileting handicapped boys and young men."  

I took the position. Over the next year I fell in love with students like James, Helen, David, Jimmy, Tony, James, and Gail. My heart aches a bit as I write these names. I grew to feel with them. That feeling is still part of me. Jesus, my Lord and Teacher, had a brilliant idea for me. He was mentoring me in having a heart of compassion.

When the year was over, I enrolled in a doctoral program at Northwestern University. I continued working as a teacher's assistant at the Cerebral Palsy Center for two additional summers. The disabled students had become my instructors.  

I began to look at others in order to understand, not judge. The more understanding I gained, the more I felt with them. Just as Jesus is able to “sympathize with our weaknesses,” so am I.  

This is how disciples of Christ feel. Apprentice yourself to Jesus, and you will experience the same.  

I would not be Jesus's disciple if I looked down on the people Jesus came to rescue. In my weakness, Jesus came to me and loved me. In the same way, I am to love others.  

Disciples of Christ go deeper. This is where the Pharisee missed it, as he said, “Thank God that I am not like these other horrible people.” He failed to understand that he was. The result was, no compassion.  

The secret to a compassionate heart is understanding. The more I comprehend about a person, the more I feel as they feel. The more I feel as they feel, the more I love.  

I want to be more like Jesus! He sympathizes with my weaknesses. His influence causes me to grow in compassionate understanding of others. Who am I to look down on others in their infirmities?  

My dear brothers and sisters, I long for this to be your experience.

DECLARATIONS  

I am increasing in compassion towards others.  

I focus on understanding people, not judging them.  

I know that understanding always precedes evaluation.

My heart goes out to people who are struggling.  

I am a rescuer of people.  

As a student in the School of Jesus, I am learning how to love as Jesus loves.

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship.)

True Praying Breeds Compassion for Others

                                                               (Praying at Redeemer)

1 John 2:7-11 tells me -  If I say I know God and love him but hate my beloved Christian brothers and sisters, I'm walking in darkness and blindness. Since God has no fellowship with darkness (in him there is no darkness at all), I disfellowship myself in the act of hating.

These verses haunt me, because I have hated other Christians. At the point of my hatred I have not known, loved, or followed Jesus. Worshiping Jesus as Lord on Sunday morning and hating people is just acting, and hypocritical.

A Jesus-follower who hates others is a contradiction. Because "God so loved the world," right?

The antidote to my hate-filled heart is a Spirit-transformed, Jesus-shaped heart. So, I am praying for a heart of love.

I want to look at others with the same compassion Jesus had. I want to love and forgive others from the heart, as Jesus did when he hung on the cross. I want the freedom Jesus had from a spirit of victimization.

How can this happen? One way is in the act of praying for others. True praying breeds compassion. And togetherness.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes:
"A Christian fellowship lives and exists by the intercession of its members for one another, or it collapses. I can no longer condemn or hate a brother for whom I pray, no matter how much trouble he causes me. His face, that hitherto may have been strange and intolerable to me, is transformed in intercession into the countenance of a brother for whom Christ died, the face of a forgiven sinner. This is a happy discovery for the Christian who begins to pray for others."[1]

---

[1] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 86

In the School of Jesus I Learn to Love One Another

 

                                              (Linda and I bought these on our honeymoon.)

In July Linda and I fly to New York City, where I will preach six times at Faith Bible Church in Queens, and then teach from 9 - 4, for three days, in Faith Bible Seminary.

One of my messages will be on "Marks of a Disciple of Jesus."

I'm taking time today to review my notes. One mark is this: Disciples of Jesus love one another. But of course. That's the mark of a Christian, right? People will know we are Christians by our love. In John 13:34-35 Jesus says: 

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

My life with Jesus began when God told me that He loves me. As much as my parents loved me (which was a lot!), I needed to be touched by the One who is love, whose love is without limits. That moment was transcendent and transforming.   

The School of Jesus is a School of Love. All the power, and all the spiritual gifts and natural talents, are nothing if the love of God does not flourish in my heart.

In the 1970s I read Francis Schaeffer's classic book The Mark of the Christian. Love for one another IS THE SIGN of the real thing. In it Schaeffer writes:

"If Jesus has commanded so strongly that we love all men as our neighbors, then how important it is especially to love our fellow Christians. 

If we are told to love all men as our neighbors—as ourselves—then surely, when it comes to those with whom we have the special bonds as fellow Christians—having one Father through one Jesus Christ and being indwelt by one Spirit—we can understand how overwhelmingly important it is that all men be able to see an observable love for those with whom we have these special ties. 

Paul makes the double obligation clear in Galatians 6:10: “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” He does not negate the command to do good to all men. But it is still not meaningless to add, “especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” 

This dual goal should be our Christian mentality, the set of our minds; we should be consciously thinking about it and what it means in our one-moment-at-a-time lives. It should be the attitude that governs our outward observable actions." (pp. 16-17)

FORGIVENESS: Some Resources

 

(Leading the Presence-Driven Church students, Faith Bible Seminary, NYC)

(I'm re-posting this to keep it in play.)

A QUIZ

Which one is the road to freedom?

a. to forgive

b. to nurture an offense

Linda and I are always talking with people about forgiveness. Here are  links to things I have written about forgiveness.

We all need it, and need to learn it, and practice it. 

For Jesus-followers, this is the heart and soul of the Gospel. 

I bless you all with hearts of forgiveness!

Why Is Self-forgiveness Harder than Forgiving Others?

Confess and Forgive

Self-Forgiveness and Liberation from the Past

To Forgive or to Punish?

Moving From Self-Hatred to Self-Forgiveness

Confession & Forgiveness: The Foundation of All Authentic Relationship

C&F (Confess & Forgive)

Sermon Notes - Forgiveness as a Gateway to Healing

Self-Forgiveness Often Includes Making Amends with Others

How to Forgive Yourself

Forgiving Others - Three Stages

The Best Book on Self-Forgiveness Is...

Are You a Forgiving Person? Take The Forgiveness Quiz

To Withhold Forgiveness is the Core Evil of the Kingdom of Darkness

***

For empirical research on the benefits and power of forgiveness, see Robert Enright's International Forgiveness Institute.

BOOKS

Lewis Smedes, Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve

David Seamands, Healing for Damaged Emotions

Everett Worthington, Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to Wholeness and Hope

Worthington, Moving Forward: Six Steps to Forgiving Yourself and Breaking Free from the Past

Robert Enright, 8 Keys to Forgiveness (8 Keys to Mental Health)

Enright, The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love

David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Forgive

Timothy Keller, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?

The Three Greatest Forgiveness Movie Scenes I Have Seen

 

I can barely watch these cinematic scenes of forgiveness without holding back tears.

"Places In the Heart." When Linda and I saw this in a theater, the movie's ending shocked me with its truth and beauty. For some context see here. 

"The Color Purple." Traveling blues singer Shug Avery has been estranged from her father for decades, because of her decision to sing secular music. In this scene, as the choir sings "Maybe God Is Tryin' to Tell You Something," Shug decides to return to her estranged father in an act of repentance and reconciliation.

"The Mission." A killer, who insists on carrying his sins forever, is forgiven and set free by the very people he has been persecuting. This is what forgiveness looks like, and feels like.

Transitioning to a Presence-Driven Church: Step One

 

(Grand Haven, Michigan)

When I do a "Presence-Driven Church conference or retreat, some ask the question, "What do we do now?" Here is how I see this.

Step One in transitioning to a Presence-Driven Church is this: the pastors/leaders  must engage in the ongoing abiding life. 

Do not view these teachings as tools for ministry. Rather, see yourself as instruments of righteousness being formed by the Father's hands. This is all about relationship with God, not programming the church. You need to spend time alone with God, otherwise you will not really understand, and you will not be credible.

Seek God, spend much time with God, for the sake of your own restoration and transformation. Begin to live in constant, abiding renewal.

Along the way, share stories of what God is doing, transformationally, in you. 

It is crucial that you not try to program this, or strive to make things happen. This is a slow-cooker, not a microwave.

In my experience, many Westernized pastors do not do this. And, among those who attend my classes and seminars, most do not continue in this. They fall back into the rut of, "I don't have enough time to pray."

For many pastors the praying life will be a revolutionary change. There will be resistance. Therefore, begin today, not tomorrow. Carve out relational time with God. This "step" is to continue and grow and increase until the day you stand fully in God's presence.

Remember how God spoke to you at the conference? Remember how restoring and renewing your solitary times with God were? It can be the same today. God did not remain at the conference center. He, Immanuel, is with you, presently. Trust and abide in him.

Don't force the issue with your people. Do not try to make things happen. Of course you want to share your experience with your people. But I suggest deepening the experience in yourself first. Pray, today, like you did at the conference. Do not bypass this step. (Refer to my book Praying about this.)

Slow-cook in God's presence, for weeks. Re-familiarize yourself with your God. "Forget about yourself, concentrate on Him, and worship Him." Tend the fire within.

With greater, growing familiarity, comes increasing discernment. Discernment is in direct proportion to familiarity. God will show you what to do, and when to do it.

Lead by being led. The Lord is your shepherd. You will not be wanting. And, you will bear much fruit.

Find another (or more) pastor-leader, and share together your experiences with God.

Then, along the way, discernment increases. God will lead you to lead your people into the abiding life, into God's beautiful, empowering presence.

When God says "Now!" preach, and teach, out of John chapters 14 & 15. 

***

My leadership book is Leading the Presence-Driven Church.

Join Me and Linda for Our Favorite Conference - June 28 - July 2

 

Go HERE. 

My Calling in the Culture Wars

 

                                                       (Lake Erie, Monroe, Michigan)

I'm reading Jacques Ellul's Presence in the Modern World. Early in the book Ellul shares his calling from God, hence his raison d'etre, rooted in Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I share this calling, too. Ellul explains.

“Do not be conformed to the present age.” There are two possible conformities. The first is voluntary adherence (and for this, it was enough to understand political programs, economic plans, and doctrines). But what drew me more, and what seemed to me to fit the level of Paul’s thinking, was unconscious, involuntary adherence—which is so evident in this present age that we don’t even think about it: these unspoken rules, taboos, and unquestioned truths that form a group’s unconscious and subconscious. The “present age” is filled with evidence of this. But I completely rejected the interpretation by which this “present age” (aiōn) is a kind of metaphysical reality, opposed to the coming kingdom, and always the same in itself. This present age was neither the particular one that Paul inhabited, nor a mysterious entity that was always the same; to me, each generation needed to recognize that it concerns its own age. So I needed to devote myself to discerning the foundations, structures, and components of the present “age,” . . . that is, the twentieth century. To do this, it would be necessary to understand the most important facts and also to interpret them accurately." (Emphasis mine.)

This is why I pay virtually no attention to social media posts and chats and arguments, since they exemplify "unconscious, involuntary adherence" to worldviews and ideologies. As best I can, I am looking at "foundations, structures, and components of the present age." 

More people are needed here.

In Praise of Singleness

(Circle of prayer)

(I'm re-posting this to keep it in play.)

There is nothing wrong with you if you are not married. There may be a lot right with you.

Some of our best friends are single. It's worth noting that Jesus, and the apostle Paul, were single. "Until the Reformation, most of the superstars of Christianity were single." (David Bennett, A War of Loves, p. 127)

When I became a Jesus-follower, at age twenty-one, God told me to lay off trying to date women, and take a full year away from dating. I did. 

That was a wonderful year for me. I began to find out about what Colossians 1:18 calls "the supremacy of Christ." Christ was my "head," I was part of his "body," the body of Christ, his "Church." (Col. 1:18 again)

I felt free from cultural pressure to date. My life-goal was no longer to find a "soul mate," because my soul was mated to Christ. The great quest was to find Christ, to be found in him. I was beginning to understand this. I was allowing God to change me in ways that would be good for any future relationship I might be in.

If you are not dating, or not married, give thanks to God. You have a Pauline opportunity (1 Corinthians 7:8) to draw so very close to the only One who purely loves your soul. Take advantage of this, and rejoice!

If you feel pressure to date and mate ask yourself, where does this come from? I have seen Christian parents who lay pressure on their children to date and get married. Too many times the child ends up marrying anyone, just to please, at least unconsciously, their mother and father. This pressure is not from God. It creates the idolatrous idea that marriage is life's greatest thing. It is not. Like any false god, this will let you down.

I've seen a lot of "Christian" marriages that are toxic, not because of "irreconcilable differences" or "incompatibility," but because of spiritual and emotional immaturity. These marriages are particularly hellish because both partners are Christians. If you are not in a marriage like this, give thanks. You have been spared from a dark existence. And, be thankful if you are not making babies with an adult baby.

Simply because a husband and wife are Christians does not guarantee their marriage will be wonderful. There is a ton of ongoing marital work to be done, and this never ends. Few people count the cost of marriage, and end up paying in ways they never imagined.

I don't want to minimize loneliness. I do want to inform you that there are plenty of lonely people in their marriages. 

There's nothing wrong in desiring and praying for a life partner. There is something wrong with the idea that life will never be flourishing without one. Imagine how Christ feels about that! David Bennett writes: 

"Jesus was an unmarried, childless man in a Jewish society of family values, and a celibate in a Roman society of sexual liberation that mocked singleness. In a world of two-sided sexual obsession, Jesus invited others into pure intimacy, modeled loving friendship, and lived in life-giving singleness." (A War of Loves, p. 129) 

(What if you are in a marriage that is troubled? See my post - How to Save Your Failing Marriage.)

5 Guidelines for Civil Discourse

Flicker, in my back yard

I'm re-posting this to keep it in play. We who are followers of Jesus need to be reminded of these things, right? I know I do.

This is about how someone who claims to follow Jesus should conduct themselves, in any medium, in all human interaction.

Guidelines for Civil Discourse

#1 - Love People

If you are a follower of Jesus, this is for us. 

Though the world fails in civility, we must engage in civil discourse.

Our foundation for civil discourse is love. We are to love others, in our behaviors. With the love of God, exemplified in Jesus. We must love like Jesus loves.

This includes those who disagree with us. It encompasses our enemies. They are among our "neighbors."

Love is the sign, the mark, that we are what we declare we are; viz., Christians. If we don't love, we have nothing. (See 1 Corinthians 13) If we don't love, we don't have our identity, at least in the eyes of others. People don't care how much we know until they know how much we care.

Jesus affirms the call to love in John 13:34-35:

“A new command I give you: 

Love one another. 

As I have loved you, 

so you must love one another. 

By this everyone will know 

that you are my disciples, 

if you love one another.”

People will know that you and I are with Jesus as we love one another. If we fail to do this, we will be far from Jesus. Others will think of Jesus through the lens of our rudeness and incivility.

When Christians hate one another on social media, they fail to display what is supposed to be their distinguishing mark; viz., love. When we get disgusted, show irritation, demean, mock, slander, ridicule, or bully, we dishonor people made in God's image. And bring shame upon our Lord.

Francis Schaeffer, in his classic The Mark of the Christian, writes:

"We are to love our fellowmen, to love all men, in fact, as neighbors. 

All men bear the image of God. They have value, not because they are redeemed, but because they are God’s creation in God’s image. Modern man, who has rejected this, has no clue as to who he is, and because of this he can find no real value for himself or for other men. Hence, he downgrades the value of other men and produces the horrible thing we face today—a sick culture in which men treat men as inhuman, as machines. As Christians, however, we know the value of men. 

All men are our neighbors, and we are to love them as ourselves. We are to do this on the basis of creation, even if they are not redeemed, for all men have value because they are made in the image of God. Therefore they are to be loved even at great cost." (Schaeffer, pp. 15-16)

It is clear, is it not, that in all our discourse with people we are to love them. This is the higher ground, where Jesus was suspended on a cross.

#2 - Never Mock People

Followers of Jesus are never to mock or ridicule other people.

Never. Ever. 

Mockery and ridicule are opponents of agape love. They reside in the camp of conditional love. ("If you agreed with my position, then I would not show my disgust towards you.")

Every person is made in the imago dei, the image of God. To mock and ridicule a person, no matter who they are or what they believe or disbelieve, is to mock that person's Maker. If you mock someone's children, you also mock them. This is how it is in tribal communities.

Slow-cook in the book of Proverbs and apply.

How long will you who are simple 

love your simple ways? 

How long will mockers delight in mockery 

and fools hate knowledge?

Proverbs 1:22

He mocks proud mockers 

but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.

Proverbs 3:34

If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; 

if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

Proverbs 9:12

The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, 

but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.

Proverbs 14:6

Penalties are prepared for mockers, 

and beatings for the backs of fools.

Proverbs 19:29

The proud and arrogant person

—“Mocker” is his name— 

behaves with insolent fury.

Proverbs 21:24

Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; 

quarrels and insults are ended.

Proverbs 22:10

Mockers stir up a city, 

but the wise turn away anger.

Proverbs 29:8

How shall we live the command to love our neighbor? By mocking them?

How shall we give witness to the sign that we belong to Jesus? By mocking one another?

How shall we be blessed as peacemakers? By ridiculing those who disagree with us?

Is mockery among the fruit of the Spirit?

Shall we build up the body of Christ using the spiritual gift of ridicule?

Is not any fellowship with the company of mockers called wickedness? (Psalm 1:1)

To mock and ridicule others that do not think like you is non-redemptive, only causing existing divisions to separate further. 

(In logic, mockery and ridicule are types of informal fallacies, called ad hominem abusives. To verbally abuse someone not only adds nothing to an argument, it diminishes the argument.)

#3 - The Other Is Not Your Enemy

The apostle Paul writes:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, 

but against the rulers, 

against the authorities, 

against the powers of this dark world 

and against the spiritual forces of evil 

in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

So, if it has flesh and blood, it is not our real enemy.

Our real enemies are "the powers of this dark world" and the "spiritual forces of evil." These are the spiritual forces Jesus came to defeat.

Jesus did not come to defeat people. He came to rescue them. In the rescue, the powers of darkness are defeated.

If you are a follower of Jesus you must not demonize others. Even if they anger you. To do that is to wrestle with the wrong adversaries. 

Discuss? Yes. Agree, or disagree? Of course. Wrestle with? That would be like leaving your true opponent on the wrestling mat and climbing into the bleachers and trying to pin the captive onlookers.

If we view and treat one another as enemies, we are engaged in vain warfare.

If an army starts to shoot its own, waging war within itself, this is not only a pseudo-battle, it's going to lead to defeat by the real enemy. If the actual enemy can get us to self-destroy,  it has won.

You and I are not enemies, because we are flesh and blood. If something has flesh and blood it cannot be our enemy.

Sadly, Christians can be tempted, deceived, and even used by the dark powers. (see Eph. 2:2; 4:14) As Ben Witherington writes: “It is all too easy to mistake the human vessel of evil for evil itself.” Pray that we never make that mistake, for if we do the days of hating and hurting and hiding from one another have arrived.

Our struggle is essentially a spiritual one. 

Wage war on that level.

Wage peace with one another.

#4 - Never Insult a Brother or Sister

When Linda and I were campus pastors at Michigan State University, we were teaching Matthew 5:21-24 to our students. In the midst of the discussion, one of our students, Naomi, who was from Malawi, said: "If we followed the words of Jesus here very few of us would be worshiping today. We would all get up and leave, go to the brothers and sisters we were demeaning, and ask for forgiveness."

²¹ “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, 

and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 

²² But I tell you that anyone who is angry 

with a brother or sister 

will be subject to judgment. 

Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 

‘Raca,’ 

is answerable to the court. 

And anyone who says, ‘

You fool!’ 

will be in danger of the fire of hell.

²³ “Therefore, 

if you are offering your gift at the altar 

and there remember 

that your brother or sister 

has something against you,

²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. 

First go 

and be reconciled to them; 

then come and offer your gift.

"Raca" is an Aramaic term of abuse. It means "idiot." (See R.T. France,The Gospel According to Matthew, p. 120)

Anyone who calls a brother or sister in Christ an idiot is answerable to the Sanhedrin. (Greek synedrion.) France writes: "Jesus here threatens ultimate divine judgment on anger, even as expressed in everyday insults." (Ib.) 

If I call someone an idiot am I really relegated to the garbage heap where Israel's rubbish was burned? No. Jesus is using exaggeration, as he often does, to make a point. (This is called Semitic hyperbole.) But the point is important. This is "an injunction to submit our thoughts about other people, as well as the words they give rise to, to God's penetrating scrutiny... We cannot worship God with grudges unsettled."

Anger is no excuse for insulting people. It is non-redemptive and alienating.

If you are a Jesus-follower, and you ridicule a brother or sister, your worship is inauthentic, and unacceptable to God.

#5 - Fear Speaking Badly of Others Made in God's Image

Have you ever met a Christian who never spoke badly of another person? I have met a few.

Apparently, Bill Johnson is one of those. Thank you, C.H., for posting this.

"In a recent meeting, someone said to Bill Johnson, "I notice that you never talk about people. You never talk badly about people. And I'm just wondering what's going on in your heart? How did you discipline yourself to NEVER speak negatively of other people, even people who are sometimes a pain?"

Bill, with tears running down his cheeks, said, "I fear Jesus in them. That I would speak badly about someone made in the image of God, that is so valued by God that Jesus died for them. And that I would portray them as something less valuable than that. I fear how God would deal with a person who would betray the people made in his image."

AND...

Let your conversation be always full of grace, 

seasoned with salt, 

so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6

***

My books are...

Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God

Leading the Presence-Driven Church

Encounters with the Holy Spirit (co-edited with Janice Trigg)

Deconstructing Progressive Christianity

31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship

The Great Invasion: Thirty-One Days of Christmas

31 Letters to the Church on Praying