To Disagree Is Not to Hate

(Tree roots - Lake Erie - Monroe)

(I'm reposting this to keep this ball in play.)

Here's a note to all who want to sit around the table and have interfaith dialogue. Interfaith dialogue is hard work, because you have to address different religious beliefs. The way you address them is not to affirm disparate beliefs. There will be no authentic interfaith dialogue if that happens. 

When I was a campus pastor at Michigan State University (1981-1992) I met with many religious leaders. We all held different core beliefs. In some cases, our worldviews were diametrically opposed. Obviously, we did not agree on many things. Did this mean we hated each other? Of course not. To label someone a "hater," or accuse them of "hate language," just because they don't agree with whatever your position is, is uncivil and irrational. (Welcome to the new world of microaggressions and cancel culture. See The Chronicle of Higher Education for university examples.)

We who are followers of Jesus are called to agape love. This love is so radical it even instructs us to love our enemies! People in my church, and those who follow me on this blog, know I have been praying to love even those who are my enemies. Jesus' command to love tells me it is possible to love people who hate me and come against me. Surely, then, I can love people who disagree with me.

To feel anger is not to hate. Over our forty-seven years of marriage, Linda and I have had moments of anger towards each other. But this does not entail that we hate each other. What we do with our feelings of anger can lead to hatred, which is not what God wants. When we are told to "be angry, but don't sin," this means anger does not equal hatred. To still love, even when in disagreement, even when angry, is a sign of spiritual maturity and freedom.

As a follower of Jesus, I am not allowed to say these words to anyone - "I hate you." 

Conversely, saying "I agree with you" is not to love. Agreeing or disagreeing has nothing to do with love or hate. Love and hate concern how we respond when in disagreement, when feeling anger.

I learned a lot about disagreeing with others in studying philosophy. Philosophy classes are arenas of formulating arguments and evaluating them. Every formulation is subject to evaluation. Evaluation produces tension and a conflict of ideas. Many times, in those sometimes-intense discussions, I heard words like, "I believe you are wrong about that," or "I disagree with what you just said, because..."  

Of all the philosophy professors I had, only one was unwelcoming of disagreement and dialogue. The rest were dispassionate and, as much as anyone can be (because no one can perfectly be), objective.

Philosophical disputing was welcoming and inviting. And, there was significant questioning and disagreeing.

Lying in the background of all this are the Platonic dialogues. Here is where the art of respectful disagreement was learned. All philosophers have been shaped by these forums.

Philosophy classes taught me how to disagree without hating. I learned that disagreement is not logically equivalent to hatred. Hatred, when it happens, is a sad non sequitur to disagreement. It was sad that Socrates was killed by the hatred of some who failed to understand him. The way Socrates handled this has been a model of disagreeing while not hating.

My philosophy professors expected disagreement and questioning. They made the classroom a safe place. I learned that a safe place is not a place where everyone agrees about everything. A safe place is a place where people can disagree and learn and grow in wisdom.

A safe place is a place where disagreement is accompanied by love and respect. An unsafe place is a place where disagreement breeds hatred.

A safe place is a place for civil discourse. An unsafe place is a place where you don't have a voice.

A safe place is a place where people come first to understand, and only after understanding is achieved, to evaluate. An unsafe place is where people judge without understanding.

A safe place is a place where you can be angry, but sin not.

Anger is not hatred. A parent can be angry with their child, and not hate them at the same time.

Anger is the emotion you feel when one of your expectations has not been met. Hatred is rooted in anger. Hatred is not the emotion, anger is. Hatred is a sinful expression or response or reaction rooted in anger. Anger is an emotion you feel. Hatred is expressed in something you do.

To disagree is not to hate.

To feel anger is not to hate.

***

SEE ALSO

Welcoming and Sometimes Disaffirming

It Is Irrational and Unloving to Affirm All Beliefs

Affirmation Is Not Equivalent to Love

To Love Is Not to Agree

Should We Affirm Everyone's Worldview?

7 Things God Lovingly Hates

Learn Prayer by Praying

 

 Dear Pray-ers, 

 I want you to learn about prayer, by praying. 

 In 1977 I taught a course on prayer at Northern Seminary, in its Master of Divinity program. My main assignment for the students was to pray thirty minutes, every day, for twelve weeks. I knew that, in a course on prayer, students had to engage in actual praying. To not pray in a prayer class would be like studying swimming, while never getting in the pool. 

 A few students objected to this assignment. Instead of actually praying, they wanted to read books, and write papers, on prayer. How absurd! I knew my students would learn more about prayer by praying, than can be gotten from reading books or writing research papers. 

Imagine a research paper on swimming, by an author who has never entered the water. The purpose of a swimming class is to bring us into relationship with the water. The purpose of the Bible is to bring us into relationship with God. 

As wonderful as God’s Word is, God himself is better. When the psalmist sings “better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere,” it’s because the presence of God is there. 

 It's like this. I’d rather talk with my wife Linda than read a book about her. I prefer sitting on the beaches of the Caribbean Sea, more than reading about it. I’ll take eating Gino’s Chicago pizza over looking at photos of it. Better to taste and see for myself, than read about how good it tasted to others. 

 Eugene Peterson said he wanted to do original research on praying, rather than dispense hand-outs about praying. Peterson wanted to teach from his own experience, and not live as a parasite on the first-hand spiritual lives of others. 

 My dear sisters and brothers, I counsel you to pray, and discover, first-hand, the possibilities and actualities available in God’s presence. 

 Love, PJ 

ASSIGNMENT 

 Identify a place where you can get alone with God, 

 with minimal distraction, 

 and pray. 

 Begin with thirty minutes. 

Devotion to Praying

 

 Dear Church, 

 You must devote yourself to praying. 

 The apostle Paul, in Colossians 4:2, instructs the Christian community in Colossae to devote themselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 

The word ‘devote’ is intense. It has the following meanings. To adhere to someone or something. To be steadfastly attentive. To persevere and not to faint. 

 To be devoted to prayer means… 

 … gluing yourself to the act of praying 

 … making a praying life your priority 

 … never giving in to prayerlessness, even, and especially, when life is hard. 

 Linda and I have a framed saying on display in our home. It reads, “You have my whole heart, for my whole life.” I see it every day, multiple times. I love those words! I know about this thing called devotion. I am devoted to my wife Linda. I am spiritually glued to her, in a bond of covenant love. I love being with her. 

 As a young man I was devoted to learning to play guitar. No one had to tell me that I had to practice. I wanted, so badly, to play well! 

 When a person is devoted to something, you won’t be able to separate them from the object of their devotion. 

 Apply this to praying. 

 Be devoted to prayer. 

 Persevere, and do not faint. 

 Give unremittingly to meeting with God and praying. 

 This is core Christian behavior. We see it in the early, prototypical church. They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 33 (Acts 2:42) 

 I want you, and your church, to emulate this. 

 Love, 

 PJ 

 DEVOTION 

 Devote yourself to praying for a Move of God in your church, 

and beyond. 

 Be like William Booth, who viewed himself as a Move of God.

From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Praying.

A Prayer Tree and A Holy Indifference

(Walking through trees in my backyard)

When we lived in East Lansing one of my prayer places was thirty feet up in a tall pine tree in a forest preserve. The branches formed a ladder leading upward. It was an easy climb to the two thick branches that formed a seat. Many times I climbed that tree, hung my backpack on a branch, sat on that natural seat, and prayed. I loved when there was a slight wind that gently waved the tree from side to side. I would close my eyes and think of the Holy Spirit, shaping and forming me.

During that time I wore a leather wristband I had made. On the wristband I burned the words "A holy indifference." I got the phrase from Henri Nouwen. Nouwen prayed that he would have a holy indifference to the opinions of others, so that he might have a holy concentration on God. 

This word was for me, too. If I had a holy indifference I would be able to more purely love people. I would not go up and down with what others thought of me. I would be free from people-pleasing, and striving to gain others' love and avoid others' criticism. 

I had been doing too much of that. The result was much outward striving and agitation in my heart. So, I carved "a holy indifference" on a leather band, wore it on my wrist, climbed a tree, and prayed. 

One day, as I was in the praying tree, God told me to take off the wristband and tie it around a branch. I felt I could let it go. God was doing a good thing in me. I was moving into greater freedom, from pleasing people to loving people.

That was forty years ago. Sometimes I think of going back to the praying tree, climbing it one more time, and touching the leather wristband which has now become part of the tree. I'm writing "a holy indifference" on a 3X5 card and carrying it with me today. I'm commemorating the freedom God brought into my life many years ago, while swaying high in the praying tree. 

***
Is it possible to hear from God? I've written about this in Chapter 5 of my book Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.

Realize Your Own Faults

Justus DuPlessis - third from the right: David DuPlessis, on the Pope's right hand.

Somewhere in my first year at Redeemer (34 years ago!) a good-hearted man came up to me after church. He was crying, wrapped his arms around me, and said, "I don't care what others are saying about you. I think you are a great pastor." While embracing him, with eyes wide open and not feeling comforted, I said, "Thank you." I was the object of some discussion, fairly and unfairly. 

I had faults that needed addressing. Charles Spurgeon once wrote, 'Get a friend to tell you your faults, or better still, welcome an enemy who will watch you keenly and sting you savagely. What a blessing such an irritating critic will be to a wise man, what an intolerable nuisance to a fool!'

There is a time and a place to be told of one's faults. This may come either directly from God, mediated through the Scriptures by the Spirit, a friend who knows you and loves you, or even an enemy.

You have faults. The question is: Are you correctable? When this is a God-thing it is received with words like, "Thank you, God, for revealing this to me." God uses people who come to grips with their own faults. God will not continue to use people who do not have periodic "Search me O God" moments.

Thirty years ago the great South African leader Justus DuPlessis spoke at our church. Justus personally met with the Pope, being the representative of the World Pentecostal Church. I found him to be a powerful person of God, and attribute what God was able to do through Justus to things like his humility and teachability. He must have been 70 years old when he was here. 

He stayed at our house. I asked him, "What was it like to meet with the Pope?" He pulled a picture out of his wallet, and there was Justus standing with the Pope. I thought perhaps I should show him some pictures of me on vacation. I don't think so!

Justus said, "I want to meet personally with you and show you something." The next day we met in my office, where he pulled out a 300-page doctoral dissertation written by a South African Christian leader. It was on the gift of tongues and other charismatic phenomena. Justus had just spoken at Kenneth Copeland's church, and Copeland had extra copies made so Justus could give me one. "I want you to review this and tell me what you think. I believe God could greatly use this work to help pastors. Please let me know what you think about this tomorrow."

I took the dissertation home and began to read. It was good work, but I knew that pastors would never understand it. It was highly technical and academic, and filled with dissertationisms. I knew I had to tell Justus what I really thought. How would he receive it?

The next day we met again in my office. I told Justus the truth about what I thought. "Pastors will not be helped by this book in its present form."

I will never forget what happened next. Justus said, "Let's go into the sanctuary and pray." Once in the sanctuary, now standing by the communion table, he said, "Let's kneel." Then Justus prayed. I did not know what to expect. He prayed, "O God, thank you for sending me to a man like John who would tell me the truth and point out my error." Justus asked God for forgiveness, thanked God for his great mercy and grace, and thanked God for me.

As for me and my soul, I knew we were both in the presence of God. I was not thinking about how great I was in doing this, but that next to me was a man who was a lot wiser and far more experienced than I. I was getting another one of those  life-lessons that will never be forgotten.

Be teachable.
Realize your own faults.
Confess them before God.
Thank God for the rescue.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
- Psalm 139:23-24

The Apostle Paul was a Minimalist

 

(World Trade Center 1, NYC)

This is from my book Leading the Presence-Driven Church.

***
The apostle Paul was a minimalist. As he traveled from church to church, across the first-century Roman Empire, he did not drag a production team with him. In 1 Corinthians 2:1-5, we see that Paul did not visit the Jesus-followers in Corinth with fog machines, black lights, powerful preaching, great intellectual arguments, stacks of Marshall amps, perfectly timed studio production quality music, a fair-trade coffee bar, tight jeans, stage lighting, creative videos, click tracks, and full color glossy programs. Instead, Paul came minimally, so that God might be worshiped maximally. He writes: 

When I came to you, 

I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom 

as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. 

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you 

except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 

I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. 

My message and my preaching were not with 

wise and persuasive words, 

but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, 

so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, 

but on God’s power. 

Paul arrived with two things: 
1. Proclamation 
2. Demonstration 

Paul shared his testimony about God, and gave a demonstration of the Spirit’s power. Nothing else. No crowd-pleasing techniques would be allowed to compete with Christ, and him crucified. Because if it turned into a production, people might rest their faith on the coffee, the jeans, and the fog, rather than on God’s power.

Two-Step Leadership (The Presence-Driven Church)

(I gave these flowers to Linda on Mother's Day, 2025.)

The Presence-Driven Leader does not know where they are going. For the most part. This is because they are being led, by God's Spirit.

The Presence-Driven Leader has a long-term strategy, for themselves and for their people. It is simple: abide in Christ. Dwell in God's presence. Resolve to know only one thing: Christ, and him crucified.

Out of the abiding relationship comes The Call. This is a call to follow. The Presence-Driven Leader is the consummate follower.

Presence-Driven Leadership is Two-Step Leadership.

• Step 1 is: Abide in Jesus.
• Step 2 is: follow Jesus.

Then, teach your people to do the same.

That's it. (This is Theological Minimalism.)

In Hebrews 11:8 we read that Abraham went out, not knowing where he was going. Oswald Chambers comments:

"Have you ever “gone out” in this way? If so, there is no logical answer possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, “What do you expect to do?” You don’t know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing." (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest)

Linda and I had never been to Israel. One day the opportunity was provided, as a gift. When we arrived we immediately got on a bus, and headed north from Tel Aviv to Mount Carmel. We had an excellent tour guide in the great Bible scholar Hal Ronning. Hal knew the land, we did not. Hal led us. We followed, willingly.

Presence-Driven Leaders lead by following. And teach their flock to do the same. This is more like adventure, a redemptive expedition, a clash of kingdom civilizations, led by the One who holds the future in his hands.


***

My leadership book is: 

Leading the Presence-Driven Church.

Mental Health and Suicide - at Redeemer in Monroe

 

Greg Boyd on Progressivist Diminishment of Scripture

 

 

                                                     (Maumee Bay State Park, Ohio)

I know Greg Boyd, a little bit. We've had him at our church, twice. Greg is an excellent scholar, and a great preacher. And, he is his own person. It would be a mistake to try and label him. For example, his belief in a real Satan immediately places him outside true progressivism. (See here.)

In a recent book, where Greg argues for the plenary inspiration of Scripture (more non-progressivism), he expresses concern over the progressivist diminishment of Scripture. PC diminishes the authority of the Bible. It undermines faith, especially the faith of young believers. Greg Boyd, in his recent book Inspired Imperfection, has a similar concern. 

He writes, 

“[Some are abandoning] the plenary inspiration of Scripture, which is precisely what I fear some progressive evangelicals are doing. I consider this a grave mistake. Among other things, denying Scripture’s plenary inspiration is inconsistent not only with the church tradition, but, as I will later argue, with the teachings of Jesus and some New Testament (NT) authors.

Not only this, but history demonstrates that when groups relinquish the church’s traditional view of Scripture, they tend eventually to float outside the parameters of historic orthodox Christianity.*

I consider the recent Emergent Church phenomenon to be a case in Point.”

This is tragic because, as Greg writes, 

“If we imagine the church as a ship on a tumultuous sea, the Bible has always served as the rudder that keeps her on course. In our postmodern, post-Christendom, and (some are claiming) post-truth world, the sea in the Western world is as tumultuous as it has ever been. Which means, the Western church arguably has never needed its rudder more than it does right now.”

(Boyd, Inspired Imperfection: How the Bible's Problems Enhance Its Divine Authority) 

Pride and Receiving Criticism

 

                                                                       (Our lilac bush)

I'm now using Tim Keller's 365-day devotional book on Proverbs. I love Proverbs! It's straight-shooting, in-your-face, no-nonsense wisdom about how to live a godly life (and how to avoid destruction).

Yesterday's entry Is on Proverbs 16:5; 18.

The LORD detests all the proud of heart. 

Be sure of this: 

They will not go unpunished. . . . 

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. 

Keller writes:

"The Bible does not say that pride might lead to destruction—it says it will. Why? The practical reason is that pride makes it difficult to receive advice or criticism. You can’t learn from your mistakes or admit your own weaknesses. Everything has to be blamed on other people. You have to maintain the image of yourself as a competent person, as someone who is better than other people. Pride distorts your view of reality, and therefore you’re going to make terrible decisions."  (Keller, God's Wisdom for Navigating Life: A Year of Daily Devotions in the Book of Proverbs, p. 134). 

Keller asks us this. "What negative practical results of pride have you seen recently worked out in your own life or the lives of others you know?" 

Pride is the root of so many things that are wrong with us. This is why C. S. Lewis called pride "the great sin."