The University of Affirmation

                                                 (My back yard, a winter ago.)

A year ago one of my former philosophy students asked to meet with me. They had become a "progressive Christian," a term I could never embrace. (See, e.g., here, here, here, and especially here.)

At one point in our discussion, the former student shared a belief about a certain philosopher's theory. I responded with, "You are wrong about that." I proceeded to tell them why they were wrong, but the look on their face told me I had upset them.

"How can you say I am wrong! You have offended me!"

I responded, "Because you are wrong. And, I'm not saying that to offend you."

My response didn't help them. I had wounded them. I had hurt them. (See 1 below.)

Here was, in this former student, manifested much that is wacked out in American culture. Here was Philip Rieff's "triumph of the therapeutic," Tom Nichols's "death of expertise," Jonathan Haidt's "coddling of the American mind," and Bradley Campbell's "rise of victimhood culture." Here was Neil Postman's "public discourse in the age of show business," and David Wells's "no place for truth." 

Here was the open abyss of the "spiral of silence." 

Here was the irrational face of "cancel culture." Before me was sitting a graduate of the University of Affirmation. Which, BTW and "Yay!", universities and scholars are rising up against, in the name of education, in the name of truth and academic freedom and free speech, to include entertaining dissenting voices.. (See here.)

***

1) In the postmodern metanarrative, authorial intention means nothing. To tell this former student that I had no intention of wounding them carried no weight, due to their unconscious and nonreflective embrace of the postmodern metanarrative. 

FIVE SIMPLE SECRETS TO A HEALTHY MARRIAGE

 

#1 - COMMUNICATE AND COORDINATE

 

                                                                     (At Toledo Zoo)

(I'm re-posting this to keep it in play.)

In August Linda and I celebrated our 52nd wedding anniversary. We are both thankful for having these wonderful years of life together!

We're not the perfect marriage. Acknowledging this helps us be better life partners.

One thing that has helped us is that we communicate about and coordinate our busy schedules, meetings, desires, and obligations. We do this every day, usually in the morning, or the evening before.

We ask each other questions, such as...

"What is your schedule today?"

"What do you want to get done today?"

"How can I help you today?"

"What time will we have together today?"

"Are you OK with me doing this (_______) today?"

"What do we need to do together today?"

"What commitments do we have this week?"

"What shall we do for dinner tonight?"

"What do you need to talk about?"

We ask questions like these. Because we do this all the time, responding to them often takes little time.

We want to share expectations, and be on the same page.

We let each other know what we are up to. For example, Linda might tell me, "I'm doing laundry this morning. Do you have clothes that need washing?"

I always let her know where I am going. Today, e.g., I said, "I'm going to Panera Bread to get a coffee." And later, I said, "I'm going upstairs to work in the office."

This is not rocket science. We always let each other know what we are doing and where we are going, even if it's just going outside to water the flowers. And, we are willing to give up our agendas for the sake of the other.

Linda is excellent at keeping a datebook. We meet together, and she brings her datebook with her. She says, "Remember, John, that we have the graduation party this Saturday at 1."

We communicate like this because we are not single anymore. We are doing life together. 

Coordinating our schedules is a way of honoring one another. In doing this, expectations become clear. Uncommunicated expectations breed marital conflict.

For us, this is one secret to a healthy marriage.

#2 - Say "Thank you" (Often)

 

                                                       (Saugatuck, MI)

In summer 2024 Linda and I celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary. We drove four hours to a Michigan beach town and spent four days together.

We walked, talked, sat on the beach, read books, had some good meals, sat by the pool, browsed, shopped, ate some fudge, and I had cherry peach pie. On the way home Linda led us in a praying time.

We gave gifts. And said the words, "Thank you."

"Thank you" is part of our marital arsenal. "Thank you" is a super weapon. We say these words, to each other, a lot.

"Thank you for the gift."

"Thank you for mowing the lawn."

"Thank you for the tuna salad sandwich."

"Thank you for doing the dishes."

"Thank you for finding my phone."

"Thank you for the reminder."

"Thank you for washing the clothes."

"Thank you for making the bed."

"Thank you for vacuuming." 

"Thank you for the flowers."

"Thank you for all you do for me."

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

When people fail to say "Thank you" it can come off as entitlement. We see the entitlement disease in Luke 17:11-19.

11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a] met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” 

And as they went, they were cleansed.

15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 

19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

When you stop saying "Thank you," often, you are taking the other person for granted.

Saying "Thank you" places you in a vulnerable position. This is why some don't say the words.

We don't have the perfect marriage. But we have both told God "Thank you," countless times, for bringing us together. We spoke these words again, both to God and to each other, as we celebrated 51 years.

Saying "Thank you" is one of our little secrets to a healthy marriage.

#3 - ALL WE HAVE TOGETHER BELONGS TO GOD

 

When I married Linda I had some debt. I had student loans to cover tuition and housing for my freshman and sophomore years

I spent the money. I also flunked out of college at the end of my sophomore year. 

I eventually got back in college. But I had to pay off the wasted student loan. 

When I married Linda, we both understood that we were now "one flesh." We were a team. We did not believe that she had her money, and I had my money. Instead, all that we had, collectively, was God's, with us as the stewards of what we have.

And of what we owed. My loan indebtedness was now Linda's as well.

For us, it goes like this. If I make a dollar a week, and Linda makes $1000 a week, together we make $1001. And it all belongs to God. We are then called to be good stewards of what God has given us.

A huge part of this stewardship was, and still is, keeping a budget. That we both look at together, and both agree on.

This means we agree on how the money is to be spent. In addition to a mortgage, car payment, utilities, food, clothing, insurance, and other essentials (the loan!), we sometimes had extra money. We did not spend this extra money without talking together about it. Early in our marriage, we both agreed that neither of us would make a purchase over $50 without asking the other if this seemed right to them.

We continue this to this day. This has served us well in our fifty-one years of marriage!

The key principles are:

1) Everything we have belongs to God.

2) We are the stewards of what God has given us.

3) We have a monthly budget.

4) We communicate about finances.

#4 - FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER

 

1971.

I had been a Jesus-follower for a year. 

God had led me to not date anyone, for the purpose of focusing on knowing Jesus. What a great and important year that was for me!

1972. That's when I met Linda, and slowly, carefully, began to fall in love with her. 

Our relationship was Jesus-centered. This included abstaining from sexual activity, even kissing. We were not trying to use each other to get personal pleasure. Were we "dating?" If so, not in the usual cultural way. It was beautiful! And, I still had so much to learn about how to love another person as Jesus loves them.

It was going so well that I thought we would never disagree and argue. That bubble eventually got burst. We had our first argument.

I cannot remember what it was about. I do remember engaging in some powerful logical reasoning. Surely, I thought, Linda will see that I was right, and she was wrong. But that bubble also got burst, when God told me, "John, she's right. You are wrong."

As I heard those words, I knew they were correct. I'm wrong. This knowledge created another problem, which was: I never admitted it when I was wrong. So, I kept arguing.

I have the powerful gift of defending myself and attacking the other person, even when I know I am wrong. I had taken and aced the "Argumentation and Debate" class at Northern Illinois University. When the class was over the professor, who led the university Debate Team, invited me to be on the team. I chose not to, but my overconfident ego was expanding.

As I was pressing my argument against Linda, God told me this. "John, not only are you wrong in your argument, you also are wrong in continuing to argue when you know you are wrong."

That's when I came to my senses. I had two things to say to Linda.

1. I am wrong, you are right.
2. I kept arguing even though I knew I was wrong and you are right.

And then, these words came out of my mouth: "Would you forgive me for doing that."

That was new territory for me. I thought Linda might exit our relationship. Who would want to be with someone who, when they were wrong, could not admit it?

Linda said, "John, I forgive you."

And then we laughed. A lot. 

We've been married fifty-two years, this coming summer. Admitting we are wrong when we are wrong is built into the DNA of our marriage.

We have both said, to each other, these words, countless times.

"I was wrong."

"You were right."

"Please forgive me for talking that way to you."

"Please forgive me for not listening to you."

"I love you."

"I forgive you."

FOR MORE HELP SEE:

Forgive, by Tim Keller

Caring Enough to Forgive, by David Augsburger

Forgive and Forget, by Lewis Smedes

#5 - SERVE ONE ANOTHER

 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21.

In doing life, Linda and I do not compete against each other. Because...

we are on the same team.

We do life together.

We don't keep score. 

For example, when I had my hip replacement surgery, I recovered at home. We rented a surgical bed, where I slept. During my rehab, Linda waited on me. And kept the house clean. And did the shopping. And meal planning and making. With love and joy.

When there are times when Linda is sidelined with illness, I do the same for her. I serve her, and do not keep a mental record of all the hours I am putting in. We don't owe each other anything. That's how it is, when you serve one another out of love, and for the team.

'Entitlement' is not in a servant's mental lexicon.

"Who serves the most?" We have never entertained this question.

We are not perfect. And yet, we defer. We are always asking questions like these.

"Can I get you anything?"

"How can I help you?"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Let me do this for you."

And, always humming in the background, is this: "How can we help each other flourish?"

Servant Leadership Seminar At Redeemer Nov. 10

 

You won't find anyone who knows more about being a leader than Jim Hunter.

Do not miss the opportunity we have tomorrow night at Redeemer!

Two Reasons to Abstain from Degrading People

 

                                                                 

A follower of Jesus will not abuse people verbally.

For biblical reasons like these.

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. —Proverbs 12:18 (ESV)

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. —Luke 6:45

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak. —Matthew 12:36 

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. —James 1:26

A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. - James 3:4–6, The Message

The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! - James 3:7–10 (Emphasis mine.)

Not only is verbally abusing people unbiblical, it is irrational. 

I taught logic for seventeen years at Monroe County Community College. Logic is the tool by which a person formulates and evaluates arguments. 

Logical arguments can go wrong in at least two ways. They can go wrong formally. That is, if a logical form is invalid (for deductive arguments) or weak (for inductive arguments. Like this.

1. If it is raining, then the ground is wet.

2. The ground is wet.

3. Therefore, it is raining.

This argument fails formally. The conclusion does not logically follow from the premises, because it's logical form is invalid.

Then, there are arguments that commit an informal fallacy. (There are many types of informal fallacies.) Like this.

1. X is a total idiot.

2. Therefore, his argument against abortion is false.

That argument commits what is called an ad hominem abusive fallacy. The truth or falsity of an argument has nothing to do with whether or not the argument-maker is an idiot.

An ad hominem fallacy attacks the person who makes an argument. That's illogical. The rule is: attack the argument, not the person. And let your attack be moral and logical.

Name-calling and person-denigrating is logically irrelevant, and thereby fails to support a conclusion.

Add to this name-calling as unbiblical and morally wrong and we have two powerful reasons to abstain from degrading people made in the image of God.

My Christmas Book (Chapters)

 

My Christmas devotional book is The Great Invasion: Thirty-one Days of Christmas.

E-book.  

Paperback.

The book's thesis is: To study and learn more about Jesus shapes and deepens our understanding of and experience of Christmas.

Day 1 is December 1.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction 

#1    ​​Jesus Is the Agent of Creation 

#2     ​​Jesus Was Born of a Virgin  

#3​​    Jesus Descended into Greatness 

#4​​    Jesus Existed

 #5​​    Jesus Grew Up in Galilee 

#6​    Jesus Was a Jew Who Wore Torah on His Sleeve 

#7​​    Jesus Is "Immanuel." 

#8​​    Jesus is God and Man  

#9​​    Jesus is God  

#10​    Jesus is True Humanity 

#11​    Jesus Was Baptized by John the Baptist

#12    ​Jesus Taught About the Kingdom of God  

#13    ​Jesus is King 

#14     ​The Method of Jesus

#15​    Jesus Mentored 12 Disciples  

#16​    Miracles Were Performed Through Jesus 

#17 ​    Jesus Cast Out Demons  

#18​    Jesus Is After the Human Heart 

#19​    Jesus Had a Preferential Option for "the Least of These" 

 #20​    Jesus Restored Purity Outside the Sacrificial System 

#21​    Jesus Reinterpreted the Jewish Festivals in Terms of Himself 

#22​    Jesus Is Lord of the Sabbath  

#23     ​Uncovering Jesus at Christmas

#24​    Violent Night (An Alternative Christmas Story)  

#25​    Christmas Day - Jesus Comes to Save Us from Our Distress  

#26​    Easter Week - Jesus Takes the Second Cup  

#27​    Jesus Bore Our Horror on a Cross  

#28    Jesus Screams in the Absolute Darkness  

#29​    Jesus Was Raised from the Dead 

#30​    Jesus Will Return to Restore Heaven and Earth  

#31​    Jesus Instructed His Followers to Abide in Him  

APPENDIX 1​    Jesus Was a Minimalist 

 

 

Here is my letter that appeared in the Monroe Evening News.

Abortion is not a political issue

DECLARATIONS OF HOPE

These three remain: faith, hope and love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Hope remains.

At the heart of a Jesus-follower's job description is to bring light into darkness. 

It is to bring strength where there is weakness. 

To bring healing where there is pain. 

To bring food where there is famine.

To bring beauty where there are ashes.

To bring love where there is hatred.

To bring peace where there is chaos.

To bring Good News where there is fear.

To bring hope where there is despair.

On Sunday mornings we call the kids to come forward, and sit on the steps facing the congregation. We lay hands on their heads and  pray God's blessings over them.

On one of these mornings I asked the kids to share what God has been doing in them. One of our little boys spoke into the microphone and said, "This is the greatest day of my life!"

This child's statement stuck with me. It reminded me of a card I sometimes carry with me. The words apply to you, too. It is no accident that you are alive, in this time, in this place, "for such a time as this."

This truth brings great hope.

***

DECLARATIONS of HOPE (adapted from Steve Backlund)

• Today is the day that God is going to show off His favor on me.
• I speak to any worry, stress, or anxiety, and I say you cannot stay. Peace reigns in this temple.
• There is nothing I am facing that Scripture cannot speak into.
• I am not who my past experience says I am; I am who God says I am.
• Today is the day of my breakthrough — I am free!
• Because I trust in God, I am kept in perfect peace.
• My hope, my finances, my strategies, and my partnerships with others are causing great positive change in lives and nations.
• Tomorrow is going to be one of the best days of my life.
• I will wake up with strong faith, strong love, and strong hope in my heart.
• My past prayers will be working mightily today in every situation that concerns me.
• As I attach faith to what I am hearing, He will do far more than I could ever hope or imagine.

As the old hymn says,

My hope is built on nothing less,

than Jesus' blood and righteousness.

Trust as the Cure for Anxiety and Fear

(Fall colors, on the river, in my back yard)

In 2016 I purchased a new chair for my home office. I like it. It's comfortable. It's solid. 

I trust it. 

It has held me for six years. I have no anxiety or fear in regard to it. 

The more trust, the less fear. Where there is trust, there is the absence of anxiety. It would be contradictory to say, "I trust the chair I'm sitting in, but am afraid it won't hold me." 

Trust overwhelms and is dismissive of anxiety and fear. 

There are objects of significant trust, and objects of insignificant trust. Objects of significant trust affect us; objects of insignificant trust have little or no effect. I may not trust the motives of the present King of France, but my mistrust does not cause me anxiety or fear because I am unaffected by his actions. But, my mistrust of our economy can cause me to wonder whether or not I will have sufficient funds to meet my needs in retirement. (BTW - there is no "present King of France." Many fears come as a result of mistrusting nonexistent objects.)

The person filled with anxiety and fear is the person who does not trust, or whose trust is misplaced. A wife should trust her husband. If the husband cheats on her, she loses trust. She is consumed by uncertainty. When the foundation gives way, trust goes with it.

Ultimately, who or what shall we trust? If atheism were true there is no one, or nothing to trust, in the end. (For an example of this see atheist Julian Barnes, Nothing to Be Frightened Of, with the emphasis on the noun "nothing.") 

But because God exists, and is who he is, in God I have trusted, for over fifty years. 

There is a cumulative effect that results from a lifetime of trusting in God. A psychological confidence, an existential certitude, emerges. The one who places their trust in God experiences less anxiety. It is like the confidence one gains as a result of sitting in the same chair for years, and finding that, through it all, it still holds.

I have met many people who experience this. I have been at the bedside of God-trusters as they lay, dying. You have to be there to see the reality of this, and the certainty of their faith.

Therefore...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. 

Don't lean on your own understanding. 

In all your ways acknowledge God. 

And God will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Praying the Gospel Over Political Leaders

 

Twenty-five years ago I was invited to say the opening prayer at the opening session of the Michigan Senate. I went to Lansing, and a friend [thank you Senator R.R.!] escorted me to the platform, where I took my seat, facing the senators. 

I was introduced. I stepped up to the podium, and prayed.

I had spent time praying about how I would pray before the Michigan Senate. I felt the Spirit tell me, "Study how Billy Graham prayed when opening political events." I found the famous prayer he prayed in 1969, at the inauguration of Richard Nixon. 

Here it is.

“Our Father and our God, You have said, 

‘Blessed is that nation whose God is the Lord.’ 

We recognize on this historic occasion that we are ‘a nation under God.’ 

We thank You for this torch of faith handed to us by our forefathers. ...

You have warned us in the Scriptures, ‘If the foundations be destroyed, 

what can the righteous do?’ … 

Too long we have neglected Your word and ignored Your laws. … 

We have sown to the wind and are now reaping 

a whirlwind of crime, division, and rebellion.

And now, with the wages of our sins staring us in the face, 

we remember Your words, 

‘If my people 

who are called by my Name 

shall humble themselves and pray 

and seek my face 

and turn from their wicked ways, 

then will I hear from heaven 

and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.’”

Beautiful! In this prayer you have humility before the Lord, confession of sin, a call for repentance, and the fact of God’s forgiveness as we do these things.

These are gospel ideas.

Billy prayed the gospel over all the people at that gathering.

All the people? Here's what Billy said about this.

"Over the years, I have tried to avoid getting involved in partisan politics — and on those few occasions when I may have stepped over the line (at least in some people’s view), I regretted it later. As an evangelist, my calling has been to preach the Gospel to as many people as possible, and I have always wanted to avoid putting up any unnecessary barriers." (From HERE.)

Barriers... to what? To the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel was everything to Graham. You see it in his preaching and in his prayers.

For followers of Jesus, the gospel is foundational. We are to view earth, through the lens of heaven, rather than the reverse.

I am certain Billy's example affected his son, Franklin Graham. Here's a quote from Franklin.

"The Bible tells us to pray for those who are in authority. It has nothing to do with whether you agree with them. It has nothing to do with whether you voted for them.

We’re told to pray. And if the church prays, God will hear our prayers.”

Billy Graham, to me, prayed the gospel over people. He rose above political arguing and lifted up Jesus as THE ANSWER to all of humanity’s problems. 

Was this a wise strategy? The answer to that question is found in the influence God gave him. 

            He preached the gospel to 215 million people across more than 400                        crusades, rallies, and simulcasts in 185 countries and territories. 

                An estimated 2.2 billion people heard him preach either in person 

                or through radio and television broadcasts.

                Approximately 2.2 million to 3.2 million made a decision to accept                         Jesus Christ as their savior during his live crusade meetings. 

                

When I stood before the Michigan Senate at the Capitol building in Lansing, I gave the best that I had. I prayed the gospel over the men and women leaders of our state. What an honor and privilege to do that!

(For how to pray for government leaders, see this from the Billy Graham Association.)