Are There Many Moral "Flavors" Out There?

 

                                           (Grand Hotel, Mackinac Island, Michigan)

In a recent series of email exchanges with someone, we were discussing morality, where it comes from, and how can we know 'right' and 'wrong', 'good' and 'evil'. My interlocutor showed his cards when he told me, "There are many flavors of morality out there."

I responded, "You are a moral relativist."  

Truly, there are only a few types of ethical theories. (See here.) They include emotivism, deontology (Kant), virtue ethics, utilitarianism, divine command theory, and relativism. Emotivism can be seen as a subset of relativism. Utilitarianism can be seen as corporate subjective relativism. And, we might add metaphysical naturalism (atheism), which simply and logically concludes that morality does not exist. (Nietzsche, e.g.)

So, the belief that there are "many moral flavors out there" presents distinctions without a difference. And, when it comes to moral relativism, it can be seen as inadequate in two ways: 1) it is non-sensical because of what it must allow, and 2) it is self-contradictory. (The self-contradictory part doesn't bother a postmodernist, who rejects all ideas of objective truth, as an act of faith. On this see, e.g., Cynical Theories: How Activist Scholarship Made Everything About Race, Gender, and Identity, and Why this Harms Everybody - written, BTW, by two atheists, and applauded by atheists Stephen Pinker and Richard Dawkins.)

In teaching Logic for seventeen years at Monroe County Community College, one of the textbooks I used was The Power of Critical Thinking, by (atheist) Lewis Vaughn. Vaughn has an anti-postmodernist section on relativism. (Postmoderns tend to revile logic, even though they use it all the time to defend their positions. Supposedly, this is "progressive.") I now quote, extensively, from that section. Pay attention, all you are interested in truth, as Vaughn writes:

"The idea that truth depends on what someone believes is call subjective relativism, and if you accept this notion or use it to try to support a claim, you're said to commit the subjectivist fallacy. This view says that truth depends not on the way things are, but solely on what someone believes. Truth, in other words, is relative to persons. [The same applies to social relativism; viz., that truth is relative to societies. See Vaughn, p. 45.) Truth is a matter of what a person believes - not a matter of how the world is. [Which is, BTW, what science is about, and why real scientists reject postmodern relativist thinking; hence, e.g., Pinker and Dawkins.] This means that a proposition can be true for one person, but not for another. [Or, for one culture, but not for another.] If you believe that dogs can fly, then it is true (for you) that dogs can fly. If someone else believes that dogs cannot fly, then it is true (for him) that dogs cannot fly.

You've probably encountered subjective relativism [= "many flavors out there"] more often than you realize. You may have heard someone (maybe even yourself!) say, "This is my truth, and that's your truth," or, "This statement is true for me." ...

Most philosophers see the situation this way. We use critical thinking to find out whether a statement is true or false - objectively true or false. Objective truth is about the world, about the way the world is regardless of what we may believe about it. To put if differently, there is a way the world is, and our beliefs do not make it. The world is the way it is, regardless of how we feel about it.

These same philosophers would probably be quick to point out that some objective truths are about our subjective states or processes. It might be true, for example, that you are feeling pain right now. But if so, the claim that you are feeling pain right now is an objective truth about your subjective state....  [Or], you may like ice cream, but someone else may not. But the truth about these states of affairs is not relative...

Many philosophers have (through the use of critical thinking) uncovered some odd implications that seem to render the view implausible. First, they point out that if we could make a statement true just by believing it to be true, we would be infallible. We could not possibly be in error about anything that we sincerely believed. We could never be mistaken about where we parked the car or what we said about jelly beans or what some general said about carpet bombing. Personal infallibility is, of course, absurd, and this possibility seems to weigh heavily against subjective relativism.

Many critics think that subjective relativism's biggest problem is that it is self-defeating. It defeats itself because its truth implies its falsity. The relativist says, "All truth is relative." If this statement is objectively true, then it refutes itself because if it is objectively true that "All truth is relative," then the statement itself is an example of an objective truth. So, if "All truth is relative" is objectively true, it is objectively false."

Thus,

1. There are many moral flavors out there.

2. Hence, we cannot say that one moral flavor is truer than another moral flavor.

3. The belief that there are many moral flavors out there claims to be objectively true. (Elsewise, statement one is false.)

4. But statement 1 is but one flavor (belief) about morality.

5. Therefore, statement 1 is not objectively true. Which is self-contradictory.

A Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage - #5

 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21.

In doing life, Linda and I do not compete against each other. Because...

we are on the same team.

We do life together.

We don't keep score. 

For example, when I had my hip replacement surgery, I recovered at home. We rented a surgical bed, where I slept. During my rehab, Linda waited on me. And kept the house clean. And did the shopping. And meal planning and making. With love and joy.

When there are times when Linda is sidelined with illness, I do the same for her. I serve her, and do not keep a mental record of all the hours I am putting in. We don't owe each other anything. That's how it is, when you serve one another out of love, and for the team.

'Entitlement' is not in a servant's mental lexicon.

"Who serves the most?" We have never entertained this question.

We are not perfect. And yet, we defer. We are always asking questions like these.

"Can I get you anything?"

"How can I help you?"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Let me do this for you."

And, always humming in the background, is this: "How can we help each other flourish?"

***

See also... 

One Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

Another Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

A Third Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

A Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage: #4

An Apprentice to Jesus Reads The Book

 

 

I read the Bible.

 As I write this, I am immersing myself in the book of Ezekiel. I also read the book of Proverbs, regularly. I go slow with Proverbs! I am also re-reading the Gospel of John. I have read John many times, and always discover new insights.  

Why do I do this? Because: I am a disciple of Christ. The required text is the Bible. Jesus is training me to be like him, in character and behavior.  

An apprentice to Christ constantly studies the Great Manual of Instruction.  It functions as a guide to life, a light to one’s path. Plus, the Bible is the greatest, most influential, inspiring book ever written!  

God used my earthly father to influence me to read the Bible. I remember seeing dad, holding his Bible, his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, usually in the evening before he went to bed. Dad read it so much that his thumb almost wore through the leather cover. I have his Bible. 

I received a black, leather-covered Bible when I was confirmed in our Lutheran Church. I was twelve years old. My fingerprints were not on this Bible. I never touched it. My mother stored it somewhere - I don't know where, and I didn't care. I never picked it up and read it. Until…   

…I was 21. That's when Jesus rescued me out of deep enslavement to evil. Instantly, my life began to change for the better. I was now an apprentice to Jesus, and I needed a Bible!  

I drove to my parents' home. I asked, "Mom, do you know where my Bible is?"  

She got it for me. I began to read. And read. I wore the leather out on it so much that the cover finally tore off. I still have this Bible. Here it is.

I am my father's son. Like father, like son, right? I have been reading and studying the Bible for fifty-one years. Disciples of Christ study to show themselves approved, as they rightly handle the Word of God. (2 Timothy 2:15)

I want this for you. The apostle Paul wrote:  Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1)  

And: Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. (Philippians 3:17)  

I am a disciple, a student, in the School of Jesus. Jesus teaches us through the Word, and through other disciples, like my father.  

Follow my example. Read and re-read your Bible.

(For a good book on understanding the Bible see How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, by Gordon Fee and Douglas Stewart.)  

DECLARATIONS  

I am a student of God’s Word.  

I love reading the Bible. It is a guide to my life!  

I read portions of the Bible every day.

I write verses on 3X5 cards and carry them with me, looking at them often.  

God speaks to me through the words of the Bible.  

The Bible nourishes me. It is food for my soul.  

I have time to read my Bible.  

The Bible is getting inside me and transforming me.

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship, p. 20)

A Disciple of Jesus Learns to Hear the Voice of Jesus

 

 

I began hearing the voice of God before I became a follower of Jesus.  

One time, when I was twenty, I was playing in a band, in a bar. Out of heaven, the thought came to me, “John, you are messed up.” That was wild. And, it was true.  

I heard this in a way that felt different and deep. It penetrated my defenses, and took up residence in my soul. In retrospect, I saw it was God, speaking to me, calling me to himself.

Today, over fifty years later, I am a disciple of Jesus. A disciple is an “apprentice.” An apprentice learns to do what their teacher does. This requires hearing from God.  

My life is apprenticed to Jesus. I am a student in The School of Jesus My Lord. This is the greatest opportunity I have in life! If you are a disciple, you are in this for life, and joyfully so.  

Jesus is our Teacher. I know what “teacher” means. Linda and I are both teachers. Linda did her bachelor’s degree in education, focusing on special needs kids and behavior-disordered kids. I taught for eighteen years at Monroe County Community  College (Michigan), and have taught in several theological seminaries.  

I also know what it is to be a student. When a teacher teaches, the student hears their voice. This is basic. Jesus is mentoring us to be like him in his character, and in his abilities. As Jesus once said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”  

Jesus knows his committed ones. He speaks to his disciples. His disciples recognize His voice. His apprentices follow Jesus their Lord.

I want this for you, too.

I have been a follower of Lord Jesus since 1970. I have grown in learning to hear his voice. I have learned that hearing the voice of Jesus is directly related to intimacy and familiarity with Jesus. So, I spend much time with him.  

I have learned that I am to focus on intimacy with Jesus, rather than on hearing his voice. Because with greater intimacy, hearing comes. Live as a branch, connected to Jesus, the Vine. Abide in him, and your life will bear much fruit. This includes hearing God’s voice.  

We learn to hear God’s voice by spending time with God.

I want this for you.  

Abide in Jesus. Grow in intimacy with Jesus. Grow in ability to hear his voice.

(One resource that currently deepens me in this area of discipleship is Hearing God Through the Year: A 365-Day Devotional, by Dallas Willard.)  

DECLARATIONS  

I take much time to spend with God.

I am more familiar with Jesus than I have ever been.  

I find that God, as my Shepherd, has much to say to me, his sheep.  

God speaks to me about many things.  

I love hearing the voice of God.  

I am a student in The School of Jesus Christ, and he is my Teacher!

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship, p. 16)

A Disciple of Jesus Is a Praying Person

 

 

The year was 1977. I had just graduated from seminary. My theology professor, Dr. Tom Finger, asked to meet with me. Dr. Finger said, “What theology class do you think our seminary needs?” I thought for a moment, then answered, “Prayer. We need a class on prayer.”  

“Would you teach this class on prayer?” 

 “No. I need a class like this. I am in no position to teach it!”  How many of you know that a teacher, especially a beginning teacher, often learns more than their students? God was speaking to me through Dr. Finger. He persisted. I acquiesced.  

In the fall of 1977 I taught a class on prayer at Northern Baptist Theological Seminary. My main requirement was: to pray. I required the students to go apart to a solitary place and pray, each day, for half an hour. I thought this was a stroke of genius! Of course, this assignment was for me, too. The result was that I, the teacher, acquired a praying life that has lasted to this day. I became a student of Christ in the School of Prayer.

What is praying? Praying is talking with God about what God and I are thinking and doing together.   

Praying is communicating with God about The Mission. 

In praying, I meet with my Commander and receive my marching orders. This is what Jesus was doing in Luke 5:16: Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.  

Jesus prayed. Therefore I, as his apprentice, pray. I pray in lonely places. I call them “places of least distraction.”  

I bring, with me to these lonely places, a Bible, my spiritual journal, and a devotional book (some book I am reading for spiritual direction). During my praying time, when God speaks to me, I write it down in my journal.  

In praying I experience comfort, healing, deliverance, and rescue. I receive encouragement. I am told that I am loved. I get corrected and directed, which calls for obedience. I find out what God wants from me and what he wants me to do.  

Praying, to me, makes following Jesus exciting and real. God really does expect me to follow him!

I have found that I can be myself, and use my own words and ways of talking, when I pray. I don’t have to learn a special language. God is not impressed by my words, but by the attitude of my heart.  

I bless you all with a deep, conversational relationship with the Lord Jesus!  

DECLARATIONS 

 I am a praying person. 

 I pray because Jesus, the Lord of my life, prayed.  

When I pray, I pray from the heart.  

Praying is exciting to me, because I am communicating with the Maker of Heaven and Earth!  

I am gaining control of my schedule. Therefore, I am finding more time to pray.

I am a prayer warrior, defeating satanic strongholds, and bringing in the Kingdom of God!

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship.)

Disciples of Jesus Take Control of Their Schedules

 

I was taught to carve out focused times with God. We called these “quiet times.” It was just me and Jesus. This was so important to me that I made time with God, every day. I believe you have time to do this, too. A disciple has time to meet with their Mentor.  

Eugene Peterson said that people were too busy to meet with God because they were lazy. They let others decide what they will do, rather than deciding for themselves. If this is you, today it all can change.  

Peterson writes:

“I mark out the times for prayer, for reading, for leisure, for the silence and solitude out of which creative work can issue. I find that when these central needs are met, there is plenty of time for everything else.”  

Choose to make more time for God in your life. God will honor this. You will begin to experience the effects of this!  

In Joshua 24:14-15 we read:  

“So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”  

Here are some declarations to carry with you today. Say them several times throughout the day. Let them get inside you.

DECLARATIONS           

As for me, and my house, I am choosing to serve the Lord.  

I take control of my schedule so that my schedule will not take control of me.  

I find time to get alone with God and meet with Him.  

I make time to meet with Jesus every day.  

God is giving me a plan for tomorrow. I will meet tomorrow with Him, at ______ (time), for ______ (minutes).

I am a disciple, an apprentice, to my Lord Jesus Christ!

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship)

A Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage: #4

 

1971.

I had been a Jesus-follower for a year. 

God had led me to not date anyone, for the purpose of focusing on knowing Jesus. What a great and important year that was for me!

1972. That's when I met Linda, and slowly, carefully, began to fall in love with her. 

Our relationship was Jesus-centered. This included abstaining from sexual activity, even kissing. We were not trying to use each other to get personal pleasure. Were we "dating?" If so, not in the usual cultural way. It was beautiful! And, I still had so much to learn about how to love another person as Jesus loves them.

It was going so well that I thought we would never disagree and argue. That bubble eventually got burst. We had our first argument.

I cannot remember what it was about. I do remember engaging in some powerful logical reasoning. Surely, I thought, Linda will see that I was right, and she was wrong. But that bubble also got burst, when God told me, "John, she's right. You are wrong."

As I heard those words, I knew they were correct. I'm wrong. This knowledge created another problem, which was: I never admitted it when I was wrong. So, I kept arguing.

I have the powerful gift of defending myself and attacking the other person, even when I know I am wrong. I had taken and aced the "Argumentation and Debate" class at Northern Illinois University. When the class was over the professor, who led the university Debate Team, invited me to be on the team. I chose not to, but my overconfident ego was expanding.

As I was pressing my argument against Linda, God told me this. "John, not only are you wrong in your argument, you also are wrong in continuing to argue when you know you are wrong."

That's when I came to my senses. I had two things to say to Linda.

1. I am wrong, you are right.
2. I kept arguing even though I knew I was wrong and you are right.

And then, these words came out of my mouth: "Would you forgive me for doing that."

That was new territory for me. I thought Linda might exit our relationship. Who would want to be with someone who, when they were wrong, could not admit it?

Linda said, "John, I forgive you."

And then we laughed. A lot. 

We've been married fifty-two years, this coming summer. Admitting we are wrong when we are wrong is built into the DNA of our marriage.

We have both said, to each other, these words, countless times.

"I was wrong."

"You were right."

"Please forgive me for talking that way to you."

"Please forgive me for not listening to you."

"I love you."

"I forgive you."

FOR MORE HELP SEE:

Forgive, by Tim Keller

Caring Enough to Forgive, by David Augsburger

Forgive and Forget, by Lewis Smedes

SEE ALSO..

One Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

Another Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

A Third Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

Love Has No "If"

Flower, in Tawas City, Michigan

I was talking with someone who has lived all his life under the oppression of conditional love. Conditional love is love that has "conditions" that must be met if "love" is extended. 

In logic, a "conditional statement" (also called a "hypothetical statement") is an "If... then" statement. Like: "If it rains, then the ground gets wet." Which means: on the condition that it is raining, then the ground will get wet.

Conditional love is hypothetical, "If... then" love. This disqualifies it as love. It is hypothetical, and love is actual. Like: "If you have sex with me, then I will love you." Or: "If you give me that money I asked for, then I will act lovingly towards you." Or: "If you do not have sex with me, then I will not love you." It's all the same thing. It's all hypothetical, not real, love.

My friend grew up in a world of hypothetical love, with a father who said this: "Son, if you perform for me, if you do just what I want you to do, if you measure up to my expectations, if... if... if..., then I sure am proud of you and I sure do love you." 

Hypothetical-conditional love treats others like trained seals in a circus act. "If you jump through the ring of fire, then I'll give you a fish." But only "if." 

Hypothetical-conditional love asks the beloved to make a sacrifice for one's own pleasure. My friend has a hard time thinking that love means anything other than this. He inwardly punishes himself daily, interpreting true selfless love as self-serving, "If... then" love.

The New Testament word for love, agape, takes the "if" out. Agape love is non-hypothetical, but actual. Which means: no conditions need be satisfied in order to receive love. 

Agape love as non-hypothetical is propositional love. In logic a "proposition" is a technical term which refers to a statement that is either true or false, describing a state of affairs that obtains. Agape love does not say "If...  then," but simply "I love you." Propositional-agape love sacrifices selflessly for the beloved. That is God-love.

It's God-love because God, whose essence is love, cannot not-love. One cannot thereby say "If God loves me," but must stand in awe before the state of affairs "That God loves me." God's love doesn't wait for conditions to be fulfilled.

Hypothetical-conditional love is abusive since it dangles a fish before the hungry animal and says, "Perform for me." Propositional-agape love says, "Forget the performance, take off the costume and makeup, and get used to the truth that God loves you."

When God-love dwells in us we love others unconditionally. 

Our love for them is not hypothetical, but true, constant, abiding, selfless, sacrificial, and never-failing.

Love Always Protects

My back yard

στέγω,v \{steg'-o}
1) deck, thatch, to cover 1a) to protect or keep by covering, to preserve 2) to cover over with silence 2a) to keep secret 2b) to hide, conceal 2b1) of the errors and faults of others 3) by covering to keep off something which threatens, to bear up against, hold out against, and so endure, bear, forbear

Love always protects. (1 Corinthians 13:7)

In my late teens, whenever I had a date with a girl, I would be thinking, "Will she have sex with me?" One time I was with this girl in the back seat of a car and started putting physical moves on her. She pushed my hand away. She wanted none of that. I didn't understand, and tried to convince her otherwise. That was the last time she went out with me. 

Good for her! She set a boundary. 

Feeling disrespected, she wanted nothing more to do with me. I was so self-centered that the concepts of honor and respect were not part of my DNA. I did not know love, or how to love and be loved. I did not understand that love always protects.

The Greek verb stego means, "to bear." This does not mean love "bears up under things," but that "love bears all things up." "Love carries everything." (Lewis Smedes, Love Within Limits, 94) Lewis Smedes writes:

"Love hates a scandal... [L]ove drives us away from scandal for deeper reasons than propriety and good taste. Scandal hurts people; and love hates everything that hurts people. This is why a loving person is turned off by gossip and rumor - out of concern for the people being whispered about." (Ib., 95)

Love carries our sorrows. Love never causes more sorrow. "Sorrow is a suffering of the mind, the hurt of knowing that something is wrong." (Ib., 97) Love is a cure for, not a cause of, emotional pain. The girl who refused my sexual advances refused to be victimized by my disrespect of her.

To respect is to protect.

Love always cares for the other, with no expectation of anything in return.

Love is Kind

 

There may be no better book to read on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 than Lewis Smedes' Love Within Limits: A Realist's View of 1 Corinthians 13.

Chapter 2 is - "Love is Kind."

Nietzsche, in one of his
gentler moments.

"Kindness," writes Smedes, "is the will to save; it is God's awesome power channeled into gentle healing. Kindness is love acting on persons." (11)

Love is power.

One quality of love is kindness.

Therefore, kindness is power.

The German atheist philosopher Nietzsche did not take kindly to this. Nietzsche hated Christianity (and especially Paul) for promoting kindness, which he saw as weakness and door-mat-ness. But "kindness," says Smedes, "is enormous strength - more than most of us have, except now and then." (Ib.)

"Kindness is the power that moves us to support and heal someone who offers nothing in return. Kindness is the power to move a self-centered ego toward the weak, the ugly, the hurt, and to move that ego to invest itself in personal care with no expectation of reward." (Ib.)

Only a free person can love this way. When I ask God to "set me free" I am thinking of this kind of thing; viz., freedom to love; freedom to be kind.

To Love Is Not to Agree

                                                      (Custer airport, across from our home.)

To disagree is not to hate.

Flipping this around, to love is not to agree.

Negate these two statements and we have something sounding like Orwell's "Ministry of Love."

DISAGREEMENT IS HATRED

LOVING IS AGREEMENT

Resist these untruths. You will then be swimming against the flow. If loving was equivalent to agreement, then no one would love anyone.

As clear as this is, few live these things out. And that is at the heart of political tribes (see esp. Amy Chua) and identity politics (see esp. Jonathan Haidt). 

This is soft totalitarianism (see Rod Dreher), akin to Orwell's "Ministry of Truth" in 1984. Which simply declared, expecting no resistance:

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH