Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Most Entitled People are Dependent People

Bamboo, near Brasilia, Brazil
I flunked out of Northern Illinois University in my sophomore year. My last semester there I rarely attended classes. Eventually, I returned to NIU and got an undergraduate degree. 

I was at my parents' house when the letter from NIU came. It arrived by certified mail. I signed for it. It said: "You have been academically dismissed."

Amazingly, I was angry at the university for kicking me out. How could they do this to me?

The truly amazing thing is my response. I felt entitled to stay in their university. I needed to understand a very basic truth of life, which is:

Actions have consequences. 

In The Entitlement Cure John Townsend writes:

"Most entitled people are also dependent people. They get away with their attitude because someone is protecting them from its consequences. They would crash and burn a lot sooner if that someone refused to make excuses for them, to give them an infinite number of last chances, and to pay for their mistakes. Your entitled person isn’t likely to change until he experiences his own dependency and what happens when you no longer act as his safety net."

Do not shelter people from deserved consequences. This only strengthens the entitlement disease in them.


Entitled People Need the "Aha!" Moment