Wednesday, November 11, 2020

How We Help Troubled Marriages - Resources


(Linda and I have been married 47 years!)

We all are troubled people.
Jesus comes to heal our turmoil.

Here are some of the resources Linda and I draw on to help struggling marriages.

One of the best books on relationships is Real Relationships: From Bad to Better, From Good to Great, by Les and Leslie Parrott.

After I complete my book How God Changes the Human Heart Linda and I will write our book on Relationships

The best book on how to communicate when in conflict is Caring Enough to Confront: How to Understand and Express Your Deepest Feelings Towards Others, by David Augsburger. 

See also Les and Leslie Parrott, The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring You Closer. 

Two of the best books to read on managing anger are:

David Powlison, Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining, and Bitterness.

Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion.

If there has been adultery in a marriage, the most helpful book we have seen is by David Carder, Torn Asunder; Recovering From an Extramarital Affair

One of the best books on the place of forgiveness in restoring relationships is The Art of Forgiving: When You Need to Forgive and Don't Know How, by Lewis Smedes.

See also:

Robert Enright, Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.

David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Forgive.

The Boundaries books by Henry Cloud and John Townsend are necessary reading!

Begin with Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Then, we have...

Boundaries in Marriage

Boundaries in Dating

Boundaries with Kids

Boundaries with Teens

For some instant help with boundaries, see these teaching videos by Henry Cloud:

Gary Chapman's book One More Time: What to Do When Your Marriage is Falling Apart is excellent. 

And...  Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away; Real Help for Desperate Hearts in Difficult Marriages, by Gary Chapman.

The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love, by Robert Enright
For Linda and I the key to a healthy marriage is: confession and forgiveness. In this book University of Wisconsin psychologist Enright shows us the relational power of forgiveness, in stories and empirical research.

The Mystery of Marriage, by Mike Mason
The most beautiful exaltation of marriage ever written?

I Married You, and I Loved a Girl, by Walter Trobisch
These two beautiful books were recommended to Linda and I before we got married.

This book has helped us much in our counseling: Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy, by Everett Worthington.  It's more academic, and for marital counselors. Very good!

Here are some blog posts on relationships.

Your Marriage Can Be Saved (Especially for Husbands)

A Wedding Is a Welding

How to Save Your Failing Marriage

28 Danger Signs for the Not Yet Married

Dealing With Anger In Relationships

Using Logic to Manage Anger in Relationships

Your Marriage Represents Christ and the Church

Want to Be Married? Prepare for Conflict!

FINALLY...  You can watch the One-Hour Seminary Linda and I did on this. 


Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God

Leading the Presence-Driven Church