Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Love does Not Fashion Others Into One's Own Image

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Nike store in Detroit

I often meet people who try to make some significant other into a "normal" person like they are; into someone who thinks their thoughts, likes their likes, wants their wants, and desires their desires. Parents do this to children, friends do this to friends, lovers do this to their beloved. What is this evil thing that wants to live vicariously through other people?

Thomas Merton writes: “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

Real love lets others be who they are, and champions them to be better than they both are.

The one who can love someone as they are is a sign of the lover's freedom. But an insecure person needs others to be just like them and agree with them on everything.

If both people agree on everything, then one of them is not needed. That's how people feel when some image-controller manipulates them.

Discover the reality of your own self, before God, in Christ. To be like Christ. That is the point of our lives.
Release other people to do the same.