Here are some resources on breaking the chains of shame.
Four excellent books.
For more on freedom from shame see Lewis
Smedes's Shame and Grace:
Healing the Shame We Don't Deserve. This is one of the best books I have
Check out Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves.
Take every thought captive. 2 Cor. 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. For help on how to do this, see Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlegrounds.
The opposite of "shame" is "acceptable." See Philip Yancey's beautiful book What's So Amazing About Grace?