I have been in many discussions about peacemaking and relationship reconciliation. And, Linda and I have been in plenty of (52 years together in ministry!) situations where we have been asked to help people come together.
Here are five Peacemaking Principles we do our best to operate by.
1. We love all involved in the conflict.
2. We never take sides. We are for the relationship.
3. We focus on behaviors. We don't psychologize or mind-read.
4. We don't take counsel from the counselees. We present the way towards peace and reconciliation, as best we can.
5. If someone objects to these principles, then we are not their counselors. (It has happened.)
Note: I often refer people to James Van Yperen's excellent Making Peace: A Guide to Overcoming Church Conflict.