|Sunglasses - Linda's and mine
Gary Thomas writes:
A dysfunctional dating relationship sealed by marriage doesn’t make any problems go away; it simply cements you in a dysfunctional marriage.
If you don’t witness character transformation before marriage, you’re foolish to expect it after marriage.
Never marry someone hoping they will change. Marry someone because they already have changed.
It is better to be frustrated in your singleness (if you are frustrated at all) than to think a dysfunctional marriage to a dysfunctional man or woman would be better because at least you’d be married.
Please, please, please: marry an emotionally aware, relationally gifted believer who is humble, spiritually alive, and sexually whole. And, whose life displays moral character now. If you compromise on any of these, you will have a long time to regret it.
For more detail see: "Please Don't Marry Him."
Get Thomas's book The Sacred Search. If you need convincing look at these reviews.
"Gary Thomas looks at the heart of a subject that many consider him an expert on—successful marriage. Anyone who is dating, engaged, or hopes to be one day needs to read this book!"(Ed Young)
"Singles, pay attention. Gary knows marriage, and is eager to help those of us desiring marriage get there with confidence and grace."(Lisa Anderson)
"Gary Thomas debunks the mythical search for a soul mate to help you choose a 'sole-mate'—someone who will lay down their life in faithful love. This biblically based book is for anyone who wants to be wise in their pursuit of a spouse."(Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott)
"Gary creates a compelling argument that shifts the believer's view of relationships, dating, and marriage to focus on something greater. I'm thankful Gary has created this resource."(Joy Eggerichs)
"The Sacred Search will help those who desire marriage to pursue it in a manner that deepens their faith, honors God, and blesses their future spouse."(Jim Daly)
"Marriages are falling apart all around us and I believe Gary Thomas has just gone straight to the root. Gary just built a map to help you see through the emotion and infatuation to God's heart for dating and marriage."(Jennie Allen)
"Our culture is obsessed with compatibility and chemistry. However, in relationship formation character always trumps chemistry. The Sacred Search is a gut check for anyone considering, delaying, or even pursuing marriage."(Ted Cunningham)
"Why should I get married? could be the most important questions Milennials are asking. Gary Thomas helps this generation navigate thewhy in a Christ-honoring way."(Esther Fleece)
"Filled with questions to make you think and teaching that will bring 'aha' moments, this book is a must read for everyone considering marriage. I highly recommend it to you—I wish I'd had it when I was single!"(Linda Dillow)
"Gary Thomas dismantles contemporary philosophies on love, sexuality, and marital union by offering strong arguments for why they have not been successful. His appeal to a kingdom-first perspective gives both hope and healing for a generation in desperate need of a fresh and Christ-centered understanding of God's plan for marriage. This book is a must-read before anyone says 'I do.'"(Michelle Anthony)