Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Two Relationship Lies, & the Key to Relationship Fulfillment

Leaves, in New York City

It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone 
that we can have a real relationship with them.  
- Anthony Storr

Two Relationship Lies

  1. I need this person to be complete, and
  2. If this person needs me, I’ll be complete.

“If you try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself. This single sentence holds the key to finding genuine fulfillment for every relationship. If you do not grasp its message, the best you can hope for is a false and fleeting sense of emotional closeness, the kind that comes from a series of temporary attachments. Once the truth of this sentence is understood and internalized, however, you’ll discover the abiding comfort of belonging— to family, friends, the love of your life, and ultimately, God. A solid sense of who you are provides the foundation you need to forge friendships that last and to find your soul mate.”

- Parrott, Les and Leslie. Real Relationships: From Bad to Better and Good toGreat, Kindle Locations 155-163