|Trees on our church's lawn|
I learned a lot about disagreeing with others in philosophy. Philosophy classes are arenas of formulating arguments and evaluating them. Every formulation is subject to evaluation. Evaluation produces tension and a conflict of ideas. This is good.
Of all the philosophy professors I had, only one was unwelcoming of disagreement and dialogue. The rest were dispassionate and, as much as anyone can be (because no one can perfectly be), objective.
Philosophical disputing was welcoming and inviting. And, there was significant questioning and disagreeing.
Lying in the background of all this are the Platonic dialogues. Here is where the art of respectful disagreement was learned. All philosophers have been shaped by these forums.
Philosophy classes taught me how to disagree without hating. I learned that disagreement is not logically equivalent to hatred. Hatred, when it happens, is a sad add-on to disagreement. It was sad that Socrates was killed by the hatred of some who failed to understand him. The way Socrates handled this has been a model of disagreeing while not hating.
My philosophy professors expected disagreement and questioning. They made the classroom a safe place. I learned that a safe place is not a place where everyone agrees about everything. A safe place is a place where people can disagree and learn and grow in wisdom.
A safe place is a place where disagreement is accompanied by love and respect. An unsafe place is a place where disagreement breeds hatred.
A safe place is a place for civil discourse. An unsafe place is a place where you don't have a voice.
A safe place is a place where people come first to understand, and only after understanding is achieved, to evaluate. An unsafe place is where people judge without understanding.
A safe place is a place where you can be angry, but sin not.
Anger is not hatred. A parent can be angry with their child, and not hate them at the same time.
Anger is the emotion you feel when one of your expectations has not been met. Hatred is rooted in anger. Hatred is not the emotion, anger is. Hatred is a sinful expression or response or reaction rooted in anger. Anger is an emotion you feel. Hatred is expressed in something you do.
To disagree is not to hate.
To feel anger is not to hate.