Wednesday, July 04, 2018

In Conflict, Speak for Yourself

Downtown Monroe

Linda and I are home from a great week at our annual HSRM conference, plus four days of vacation in Holland, Michigan.

We did a workshop at the conference called "How to Counsel Struggling Relationships." One point we did not make is: When in conflict, speak for yourself. Do not bring other people into it.

Let's imagine persons X and Y are having a problem with something person Z does. X goes to Z, but Y does not. So far, so good, in the case of X.

X confront Z, but adds, "Y is upset with you, too."

Not good.

If Y is upset with Z, they need to lovingly confront Z themselves, instead of using X as their messenger.

When in conflict with someone, speak for yourself, not for others. 

My two books are:

Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God (May 2016)

Leading the Presence-Driven Church (January 2018)

I am now writing:

How God Changes the Human Heart

Technology and Spiritual Formation

And, Linda and I are talking about co-writing our book on Relationships.