Friday, June 30, 2017

Divorce Creates Ontological Insecurity for Children

Green Lake Christian Conference Center, Wisconsin

Linda and I are called to save as many marriages as we can. One reason is: the children. The rationalization that, after divorce, "the kids will be OK" is mostly mythical.

Divorce has disastrous consequences for children. It creates an ontological void in their souls. The fabric of their being, which is essentially a being-in-community, is ruptured.

Andrew Root describes this in The Children of Divorce: The Loss of Family as the Loss of Being. Root writes:


"To be human is to have our being, to be made real, as this person belonging to these people. And this is what’s so painful about divorce. It ruptures the “this people” that provides children the strength to embrace their own “this person.” It ruptures ontological security." (Root, "Young People, Divorce, & Youth Ministry," 18)


Divorce, says Root, calls a child's existence into question. If we are truly social animals, nullifying a family has social implications. (See Root, "Why Divorce Calls Children's Existence into Question")

"We desire to be found, to know and encounter those who brought us into the world." (Ib.) Knowing this, who would want to break it?

If you got divorced and have children, your kids will need help outside of you.

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