A Follow of Jesus Forgives Others

 

I want you to forgive others who have hurt you.  

I want you to pray for people who harass and persecute you.  

There came a point in my life as a disciple of Jesus where I began praying the Lord’s Prayer with my new-creation, born-again heart. I was deeply affected by this part of the prayer: Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.  

This became real to me in my marriage with Linda.

We were dating, and had our first argument. We were upset with each other. During the argument I remember thinking, “This is over.” I was under the illusion that, in a love relationship, there will be no anger because we would be the perfect couple.  

During the verbal fighting Jesus gave me a lesson I have never forgotten. It happened this way.  

I thought of myself as a powerful arguer. I felt I was defeating Linda in this conflict. Then God said, “John, you are arguing powerfully, but you are wrong. You’re going to confess this to her.”  

So, what did I do about this? I kept arguing, even though I knew I was wrong. Then God said, “John, not only must you now confess you are wrong. You must also ask her forgiveness for continuing to argue even though you knew you were wrong.”  

At that point I stopped. I said, “Linda, I was wrong in this argument. And, when I saw this my error, I kept on arguing anyway. Would you forgive me?”  

This was new spiritual territory for me. To my memory, I can only recall one other time when I asked someone for forgiveness. What would happen now?  

Immediately, Linda said, “I forgive you.”  

And the wall came down.   

I began laughing at my foolishness. She laughed with me, not at me. I was experiencing the freedom of forgiveness. Since then, Linda and I have asked each other for forgiveness, multiple times. It will happen again.  

I, an apprentice to the Lord Jesus, was in the School of Jesus. He was teaching me to be more like Him. What a beautiful gift!  

DECLARATIONS  

I forgive those who have hurt me, from the heart.  

I experience the beauty and freedom of God’s forgiveness!  

I live a forgiving life.  

I live a forgiven life.

I exercise the power of confession and forgiveness.  

When in conflict I initiate confession and forgiveness.  

I understand and celebrate the power of forgiveness in relationships!  

(For more see my blog post “Forgiveness – Resources.” At johnpiippo.com.)

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship)

A Disciple Is a Servant

 

 I want you to serve others.

I want you to place others before the cultivation of your own self.  

This is something my Lord has taught me.  

As a boy, and a teen, I helped in some ways in my parents’ house. Upon being asked, I took out garbage, shoveled snow, and mowed the lawn. When I could drive, I ran errands for my mother. I served in my parents’ home. But I did not have the heart of a servant. That came in the spring of 1970.  

That was when I got saved. Jesus was now my Master, and I was his apprentice. I was enrolled in the Lifetime School of Jesus. This was, and remains, exhilarating to me!  

Part of me was anticipating doing big things for Jesus. Jesus, on the other hand, was teaching me small things. While in God’s eyes it is no small thing to be a servant, a servant specializes in small things. Like doing the dishes.  

On a Sunday, in the spring of 1970, I sat with my father and mother at our dinner table. Church was over, and we were home, eating the my mother’s delicious home cooking. When we finished, I left the kitchen and went into our family room to watch sports on TV. This was my habit. Little did I know this was to forever change, on that great day in the School of Jesus.  

That day, sitting in our family room, God spoke to me. “Go back into the kitchen and help your mother clean up.” I knew this was God, instructing me. I lifted my body off the family room couch, and went back into the kitchen. “Mom,” I said, “let me do the dishes today.”  

My parents were raised in a patriarchal culture. Making meals and cleaning up afterwards were things the women did. Much of my mother’s self-worth came from cooking, cleaning, and making the house look good.  

“No, Johnny,” she said, “you go back and watch TV.”  

“Mom, I’m going to do the dishes!” 

I insisted on this! After protesting, she gave in. Little did we both realize that I just advanced in the School of Jesus. I became a servant in my father’s and mother’s house. I consider this one of the greatest things Jesus has ever done for me. 

 Jesus, my Lord, once said to his disciples, "The Son of Man did not come to be served. He came to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many people."  

 Above our kitchen sink, where I and Linda wash dishes, is a window. Through this window we see the beautiful pine trees in our backyard. Our bird feeders are there. My mother used to love feeding and watching birds. So do I. Here I am today, like mother, like son. I wash dishes.  I do this gladly, with joy and thanksgiving, to the glory of God.  

I want you to serve others. 

I want you to place others before your own desires.

DECLARATIONS  

Just as my Lord Jesus came to serve others, so do I.  

I love serving in the name of Jesus!  

I place my desires behind the needs of people. 

I am learning more and more about servanthood every day.  

I am a servant in my church family.

I wash dishes to the glory of God.  

When it comes to serving, I take the initiative.

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship)

A Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage - #5

 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21.

In doing life, Linda and I do not compete against each other. Because...

we are on the same team.

We do life together.

We don't keep score. 

For example, when I had my hip replacement surgery, I recovered at home. We rented a surgical bed, where I slept. During my rehab, Linda waited on me. And kept the house clean. And did the shopping. And meal planning and making. With love and joy.

When there are times when Linda is sidelined with illness, I do the same for her. I serve her, and do not keep a mental record of all the hours I am putting in. We don't owe each other anything. That's how it is, when you serve one another out of love, and for the team.

'Entitlement' is not in a servant's mental lexicon.

"Who serves the most?" We have never entertained this question.

We are not perfect. And yet, we defer. We are always asking questions like these.

"Can I get you anything?"

"How can I help you?"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Let me do this for you."

And, always humming in the background, is this: "How can we help each other flourish?"

***

See also... 

One Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

Another Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

A Third Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

A Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage: #4

An Apprentice to Jesus Reads The Book

 

 

I read the Bible.

 As I write this, I am immersing myself in the book of Ezekiel. I also read the book of Proverbs, regularly. I go slow with Proverbs! I am also re-reading the Gospel of John. I have read John many times, and always discover new insights.  

Why do I do this? Because: I am a disciple of Christ. The required text is the Bible. Jesus is training me to be like him, in character and behavior.  

An apprentice to Christ constantly studies the Great Manual of Instruction.  It functions as a guide to life, a light to one’s path. Plus, the Bible is the greatest, most influential, inspiring book ever written!  

God used my earthly father to influence me to read the Bible. I remember seeing dad, holding his Bible, his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, usually in the evening before he went to bed. Dad read it so much that his thumb almost wore through the leather cover. I have his Bible. 

I received a black, leather-covered Bible when I was confirmed in our Lutheran Church. I was twelve years old. My fingerprints were not on this Bible. I never touched it. My mother stored it somewhere - I don't know where, and I didn't care. I never picked it up and read it. Until…   

…I was 21. That's when Jesus rescued me out of deep enslavement to evil. Instantly, my life began to change for the better. I was now an apprentice to Jesus, and I needed a Bible!  

I drove to my parents' home. I asked, "Mom, do you know where my Bible is?"  

She got it for me. I began to read. And read. I wore the leather out on it so much that the cover finally tore off. I still have this Bible. Here it is.

I am my father's son. Like father, like son, right? I have been reading and studying the Bible for fifty-one years. Disciples of Christ study to show themselves approved, as they rightly handle the Word of God. (2 Timothy 2:15)

I want this for you. The apostle Paul wrote:  Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1)  

And: Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. (Philippians 3:17)  

I am a disciple, a student, in the School of Jesus. Jesus teaches us through the Word, and through other disciples, like my father.  

Follow my example. Read and re-read your Bible.

(For a good book on understanding the Bible see How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, by Gordon Fee and Douglas Stewart.)  

DECLARATIONS  

I am a student of God’s Word.  

I love reading the Bible. It is a guide to my life!  

I read portions of the Bible every day.

I write verses on 3X5 cards and carry them with me, looking at them often.  

God speaks to me through the words of the Bible.  

The Bible nourishes me. It is food for my soul.  

I have time to read my Bible.  

The Bible is getting inside me and transforming me.

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship, p. 20)

A Disciple of Jesus Learns to Hear the Voice of Jesus

 

 

I began hearing the voice of God before I became a follower of Jesus.  

One time, when I was twenty, I was playing in a band, in a bar. Out of heaven, the thought came to me, “John, you are messed up.” That was wild. And, it was true.  

I heard this in a way that felt different and deep. It penetrated my defenses, and took up residence in my soul. In retrospect, I saw it was God, speaking to me, calling me to himself.

Today, over fifty years later, I am a disciple of Jesus. A disciple is an “apprentice.” An apprentice learns to do what their teacher does. This requires hearing from God.  

My life is apprenticed to Jesus. I am a student in The School of Jesus My Lord. This is the greatest opportunity I have in life! If you are a disciple, you are in this for life, and joyfully so.  

Jesus is our Teacher. I know what “teacher” means. Linda and I are both teachers. Linda did her bachelor’s degree in education, focusing on special needs kids and behavior-disordered kids. I taught for eighteen years at Monroe County Community  College (Michigan), and have taught in several theological seminaries.  

I also know what it is to be a student. When a teacher teaches, the student hears their voice. This is basic. Jesus is mentoring us to be like him in his character, and in his abilities. As Jesus once said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”  

Jesus knows his committed ones. He speaks to his disciples. His disciples recognize His voice. His apprentices follow Jesus their Lord.

I want this for you, too.

I have been a follower of Lord Jesus since 1970. I have grown in learning to hear his voice. I have learned that hearing the voice of Jesus is directly related to intimacy and familiarity with Jesus. So, I spend much time with him.  

I have learned that I am to focus on intimacy with Jesus, rather than on hearing his voice. Because with greater intimacy, hearing comes. Live as a branch, connected to Jesus, the Vine. Abide in him, and your life will bear much fruit. This includes hearing God’s voice.  

We learn to hear God’s voice by spending time with God.

I want this for you.  

Abide in Jesus. Grow in intimacy with Jesus. Grow in ability to hear his voice.

(One resource that currently deepens me in this area of discipleship is Hearing God Through the Year: A 365-Day Devotional, by Dallas Willard.)  

DECLARATIONS  

I take much time to spend with God.

I am more familiar with Jesus than I have ever been.  

I find that God, as my Shepherd, has much to say to me, his sheep.  

God speaks to me about many things.  

I love hearing the voice of God.  

I am a student in The School of Jesus Christ, and he is my Teacher!

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship, p. 16)

A Disciple of Jesus Is a Praying Person

 

 

The year was 1977. I had just graduated from seminary. My theology professor, Dr. Tom Finger, asked to meet with me. Dr. Finger said, “What theology class do you think our seminary needs?” I thought for a moment, then answered, “Prayer. We need a class on prayer.”  

“Would you teach this class on prayer?” 

 “No. I need a class like this. I am in no position to teach it!”  How many of you know that a teacher, especially a beginning teacher, often learns more than their students? God was speaking to me through Dr. Finger. He persisted. I acquiesced.  

In the fall of 1977 I taught a class on prayer at Northern Baptist Theological Seminary. My main requirement was: to pray. I required the students to go apart to a solitary place and pray, each day, for half an hour. I thought this was a stroke of genius! Of course, this assignment was for me, too. The result was that I, the teacher, acquired a praying life that has lasted to this day. I became a student of Christ in the School of Prayer.

What is praying? Praying is talking with God about what God and I are thinking and doing together.   

Praying is communicating with God about The Mission. 

In praying, I meet with my Commander and receive my marching orders. This is what Jesus was doing in Luke 5:16: Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.  

Jesus prayed. Therefore I, as his apprentice, pray. I pray in lonely places. I call them “places of least distraction.”  

I bring, with me to these lonely places, a Bible, my spiritual journal, and a devotional book (some book I am reading for spiritual direction). During my praying time, when God speaks to me, I write it down in my journal.  

In praying I experience comfort, healing, deliverance, and rescue. I receive encouragement. I am told that I am loved. I get corrected and directed, which calls for obedience. I find out what God wants from me and what he wants me to do.  

Praying, to me, makes following Jesus exciting and real. God really does expect me to follow him!

I have found that I can be myself, and use my own words and ways of talking, when I pray. I don’t have to learn a special language. God is not impressed by my words, but by the attitude of my heart.  

I bless you all with a deep, conversational relationship with the Lord Jesus!  

DECLARATIONS 

 I am a praying person. 

 I pray because Jesus, the Lord of my life, prayed.  

When I pray, I pray from the heart.  

Praying is exciting to me, because I am communicating with the Maker of Heaven and Earth!  

I am gaining control of my schedule. Therefore, I am finding more time to pray.

I am a prayer warrior, defeating satanic strongholds, and bringing in the Kingdom of God!

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship.)

Disciples of Jesus Take Control of Their Schedules

 

I was taught to carve out focused times with God. We called these “quiet times.” It was just me and Jesus. This was so important to me that I made time with God, every day. I believe you have time to do this, too. A disciple has time to meet with their Mentor.  

Eugene Peterson said that people were too busy to meet with God because they were lazy. They let others decide what they will do, rather than deciding for themselves. If this is you, today it all can change.  

Peterson writes:

“I mark out the times for prayer, for reading, for leisure, for the silence and solitude out of which creative work can issue. I find that when these central needs are met, there is plenty of time for everything else.”  

Choose to make more time for God in your life. God will honor this. You will begin to experience the effects of this!  

In Joshua 24:14-15 we read:  

“So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”  

Here are some declarations to carry with you today. Say them several times throughout the day. Let them get inside you.

DECLARATIONS           

As for me, and my house, I am choosing to serve the Lord.  

I take control of my schedule so that my schedule will not take control of me.  

I find time to get alone with God and meet with Him.  

I make time to meet with Jesus every day.  

God is giving me a plan for tomorrow. I will meet tomorrow with Him, at ______ (time), for ______ (minutes).

I am a disciple, an apprentice, to my Lord Jesus Christ!

(From my book 31 Letters to the Church on Discipleship)

A Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage: #4

 

1971.

I had been a Jesus-follower for a year. 

God had led me to not date anyone, for the purpose of focusing on knowing Jesus. What a great and important year that was for me!

1972. That's when I met Linda, and slowly, carefully, began to fall in love with her. 

Our relationship was Jesus-centered. This included abstaining from sexual activity, even kissing. We were not trying to use each other to get personal pleasure. Were we "dating?" If so, not in the usual cultural way. It was beautiful! And, I still had so much to learn about how to love another person as Jesus loves them.

It was going so well that I thought we would never disagree and argue. That bubble eventually got burst. We had our first argument.

I cannot remember what it was about. I do remember engaging in some powerful logical reasoning. Surely, I thought, Linda will see that I was right, and she was wrong. But that bubble also got burst, when God told me, "John, she's right. You are wrong."

As I heard those words, I knew they were correct. I'm wrong. This knowledge created another problem, which was: I never admitted it when I was wrong. So, I kept arguing.

I have the powerful gift of defending myself and attacking the other person, even when I know I am wrong. I had taken and aced the "Argumentation and Debate" class at Northern Illinois University. When the class was over the professor, who led the university Debate Team, invited me to be on the team. I chose not to, but my overconfident ego was expanding.

As I was pressing my argument against Linda, God told me this. "John, not only are you wrong in your argument, you also are wrong in continuing to argue when you know you are wrong."

That's when I came to my senses. I had two things to say to Linda.

1. I am wrong, you are right.
2. I kept arguing even though I knew I was wrong and you are right.

And then, these words came out of my mouth: "Would you forgive me for doing that."

That was new territory for me. I thought Linda might exit our relationship. Who would want to be with someone who, when they were wrong, could not admit it?

Linda said, "John, I forgive you."

And then we laughed. A lot. 

We've been married fifty-two years, this coming summer. Admitting we are wrong when we are wrong is built into the DNA of our marriage.

We have both said, to each other, these words, countless times.

"I was wrong."

"You were right."

"Please forgive me for talking that way to you."

"Please forgive me for not listening to you."

"I love you."

"I forgive you."

FOR MORE HELP SEE:

Forgive, by Tim Keller

Caring Enough to Forgive, by David Augsburger

Forgive and Forget, by Lewis Smedes

SEE ALSO..

One Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

Another Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

A Third Simple Secret to a Healthy Marriage

Love Has No "If"

Flower, in Tawas City, Michigan

I was talking with someone who has lived all his life under the oppression of conditional love. Conditional love is love that has "conditions" that must be met if "love" is extended. 

In logic, a "conditional statement" (also called a "hypothetical statement") is an "If... then" statement. Like: "If it rains, then the ground gets wet." Which means: on the condition that it is raining, then the ground will get wet.

Conditional love is hypothetical, "If... then" love. This disqualifies it as love. It is hypothetical, and love is actual. Like: "If you have sex with me, then I will love you." Or: "If you give me that money I asked for, then I will act lovingly towards you." Or: "If you do not have sex with me, then I will not love you." It's all the same thing. It's all hypothetical, not real, love.

My friend grew up in a world of hypothetical love, with a father who said this: "Son, if you perform for me, if you do just what I want you to do, if you measure up to my expectations, if... if... if..., then I sure am proud of you and I sure do love you." 

Hypothetical-conditional love treats others like trained seals in a circus act. "If you jump through the ring of fire, then I'll give you a fish." But only "if." 

Hypothetical-conditional love asks the beloved to make a sacrifice for one's own pleasure. My friend has a hard time thinking that love means anything other than this. He inwardly punishes himself daily, interpreting true selfless love as self-serving, "If... then" love.

The New Testament word for love, agape, takes the "if" out. Agape love is non-hypothetical, but actual. Which means: no conditions need be satisfied in order to receive love. 

Agape love as non-hypothetical is propositional love. In logic a "proposition" is a technical term which refers to a statement that is either true or false, describing a state of affairs that obtains. Agape love does not say "If...  then," but simply "I love you." Propositional-agape love sacrifices selflessly for the beloved. That is God-love.

It's God-love because God, whose essence is love, cannot not-love. One cannot thereby say "If God loves me," but must stand in awe before the state of affairs "That God loves me." God's love doesn't wait for conditions to be fulfilled.

Hypothetical-conditional love is abusive since it dangles a fish before the hungry animal and says, "Perform for me." Propositional-agape love says, "Forget the performance, take off the costume and makeup, and get used to the truth that God loves you."

When God-love dwells in us we love others unconditionally. 

Our love for them is not hypothetical, but true, constant, abiding, selfless, sacrificial, and never-failing.

Love is Kind

 

There may be no better book to read on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 than Lewis Smedes' Love Within Limits: A Realist's View of 1 Corinthians 13.

Chapter 2 is - "Love is Kind."

Nietzsche, in one of his
gentler moments.

"Kindness," writes Smedes, "is the will to save; it is God's awesome power channeled into gentle healing. Kindness is love acting on persons." (11)

Love is power.

One quality of love is kindness.

Therefore, kindness is power.

The German atheist philosopher Nietzsche did not take kindly to this. Nietzsche hated Christianity (and especially Paul) for promoting kindness, which he saw as weakness and door-mat-ness. But "kindness," says Smedes, "is enormous strength - more than most of us have, except now and then." (Ib.)

"Kindness is the power that moves us to support and heal someone who offers nothing in return. Kindness is the power to move a self-centered ego toward the weak, the ugly, the hurt, and to move that ego to invest itself in personal care with no expectation of reward." (Ib.)

Only a free person can love this way. When I ask God to "set me free" I am thinking of this kind of thing; viz., freedom to love; freedom to be kind.