God Gives and Takes Away

Butterfly House in Whitehouse, Ohio

I was on the worship team for a conference. Matt Redman's new song at the time was "Blessed Be Your Name."

One of the conference speakers was a positive thinking "prosperity" teacher. The evening he was to speak he came to the worship team and said: "I want you to sing 'Blessed Be Your Name'" after I preach. But I don't want you to sing the line that says 'You give and take away.'"

It was the "take away" part that he didn't like. It was too negative. It was, as I saw it, too biblical for him. He didn't understand gratitude.

Henri Nouwen writes:

"Gratitude in its deepest sense means to live life as a gift to be received gratefully. But gratitude as the gospel speaks about it embraces all of life: the good and the bad, the joyful and the painful, the holy and the not so holy." (Nouwen, A Spirituality of Living, p. 34)

True gratitude is a heart that sees God whether things are cool or things are difficult. Nouwen says:

"The call to be grateful is a call to trust that every moment of our life can be claimed as the way of the cross that leads us to new life. Can we be grateful for everything that has happened in our life—not just the good things but for all that has brought us to today?" (Ib., 34-35)

God gives, and God takes away. God is sovereign. And to be blessed and honored in all things. Our culture's happiness preachers create unbreachable divides between good and bad, sorrow and joy. This situation, reasons Nouwen, leaves only the option of resentment when badness and sorrow happen. This robs us of the possibility of dancing in the arena of mourning.

Is this unreal? Not at all. It is the core of a Jesus-follower's faith, and called The Cross.

God gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

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You can read about praying in the midst of loss in my new book Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.

C. S. Lewis's Argument from Desire for the Existence of God

Tipp City, Ohio

I'm reading The Apologetics of Joy: A Case for the Existence of God from C.S. Lewis's Argument from Desire, by Joe Puckett.

This argument is stated like this:

• Premise 1: Every natural, innate desire in us corresponds to some real object that can satisfy that desire.
• Premise 2: But there exists in us a desire which nothing in time, nothing on earth, no creature can satisfy.
• Conclusion: Therefore there must exist something more than time, earth and creatures, which can satisfy this desire.

Regarding P1 Lewis wrote:

"Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for these desires exists. A baby feels hunger; well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim; well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire; well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." (Mere Christianity, ch. 10)

Lewis distinguished between innate, natural desires (like the desire for food) and artificial desires (like the desire to levitate, or desiring the Lions to win the Super Bowl). Innate desires have corresponding objects; artificial desires may or may not have actually existing corresponding objects.

Regarding P2 there are atheists such as Nietzsche, Freud, and Albert Camus who affirm it. Of course they reject P1. Camus "held that all human beings longed for meaning in a world that offered none. He posed the question,

"What, then, is that incalculable feeling that deprives the mind of the sleep necessary to life? A world that can be explained even with bad reasons is a familiar world. But, on the other hand, in a universe suddenly divested of illusions and lights, man feels an alien, a stranger. His exile is without remedy since he is deprived of the memory of a lost home or the hope of a promised land. This divorce between man and his life, the actor and his setting, is properly the feeling of absurdity."" (Puckett, K145)

If P1 is true, as Lewis believed (and philosophers such as Peter Kreeft believe), and if P2 is true (as even some atheists affirm), the the conclusion follows:

"Therefore there exists something outside of time and the universe that can satisfy that desire (and the best candidate for that which exists outside of time and the universe is God)." (Puckett, p. 122)

***
My new book is Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.

The Sign of Real Healing is Behavioral, Not Emotional

My backyard.

God can change a human life. I know this from my own experience, and countless others I've seen change.

The sign of real, God-produced healing is change in behavior and activity. The sign that the blind man was healed is that he could now see "men like trees walking." (Mark 8:24) If this man didn't see the external world while he was walking we'd know he was not healed.

Real healing brings about a change in behavior or activity. Which is what we are praying for. We're not praying for the addicted person to have some dramatic emotional experience, but to be free of their addiction. The prayer is not, "Oh God, make them emotional!" but "Oh God, make them well!"

This freedom will be evidenced by behavioral changes, like the person of 1 John 3:14 who has crossed over from death to life, the evidential sign being that their behavior changes from hatred to love. They have become a loving person, in action.

Healings like this often produce emotions of praise and gratitude towards God. There may be tears. There's nothing wrong with this. But emotional experiences without healing results that lead to behaviorial and attitudinal changes mean nothing. I have seen too many people have an emotional experience without a real healing yet claim they are healed when they are not, since in a day or two they are acting and thinking like their old unhealed self.

Sometimes the emotional experience is used to manipulate other people. They may say, "I've had this powerful, tearful encounter with God! I'm a different person now!" We hope so. We will know so if attitudes and behaviors are different, consistently, over time. The formerly blind person now drives a car and reads books and distinguishes colors and recognizes others by sight. The addict stays clean, over months and years. The promise-breaker now promises and keeps their promises. And we say, "They have been healed - praise God!" (I've seen it happen.)

***
My new book is Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.

If He Comes, He Will Build It (The Presence-Driven Church)

In the movie "Field of Dreams" we heard words that have since been immortalized and even used in Christian circles: "If you build it, he will come." This was about building a ball diamond in the middle of the Iowa cornfields. When the father finally emerged through the corn rows and played catch with his son tears came to my eyes. What a meaningful scene. I could not help but think of my dad, playing ball with me.

As beautiful as that is, there is no profound analogy between the movie and the father's appearance and the kingdom of God and God's appearing presence. Spiritually, it's not true that "If you build it [something, whatever], then God will show up."

But...  When God comes, he will build it. That's true. When it comes to building God's kingdom, God's earth-shattering, empowering presence comes first. 

First: God comes.

Second: God builds.

Where God comes he builds (edifies). What God builds is his kingdom. Jesus-followers are then invited to join him in The Great Edifying, The Great Upbuilding.

First: God's presence.

Second: God guides and empowers us to build.

If He comes, he and you will build it, empowered by God's Spirit.

Twelve Books I Am Reading this Summer

Here's what I'm reading or already read this summer.

The Faith of Christopher Hitchens: The Restless Soul of the World's Most Notorious Atheist, by Larry Taunton. Linda and I both read this. This is the best book I've read this summer. Beautiful, authentic, inspiring.

The Apologetics of Desire: A Case for the Existence of God from C. S. Lewis's Argument from Desire, by Joe Puckett. I'm in the midst of this book right now. I'm reading it because of a study I'm doing this summer on the nature of desire. My study has been kick-started by the writings of James K. A. Smith, as follows. Puckett's book is very well-written, eminently rational, and helpful.

You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit, by James K. A. Smith. Smith is a Pentecostal philosopher teaching at Calvin College (go figure). He is one of the most important voices in theology and philosophical theology today. He's a great writer, and this is a very cool and deep book. Smith is an excellent teacher. Watch how the book goes deeper and deeper until you find yourself in an ocean of ideas.

Desiring the Kingdom (Cultural Liturgies): Worship, Worldview, and Cultural Formation, by James K. A. Smith. My desire-studies led me to read this. What a book! We are what we desire, what we love, what we worship. And, everyone worships someone or something. Every person is enmeshed in one or more cultural liturgies, largely unconsciously.

Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk In a Digital Age, by Sherry Turkle. Turkle is a professor at M.I.T. She is a brilliant scholar, and this is a phenomenal book. Though not addressing Christians, every pastor and Christian leader should read it. And, to my great delight, her proposal adds support to my phenomenology of spiritual transformation.

Reviving Old Scratch: Demons and the Devil for Doubters and the Disenchanted, by Richard Beck. Another very good book! Greg Boyd says, "Beck helps Christians understand that they need not suspend their doubts about "Old Scratch" to discern his reality in the dark dehumanizing forces that are all around us. Whether you're convinced or doubtful of Satan's existence, this book will inspire you to enter into the age-long spiritual battle that has always been at the center of the Christian faith.""

The Theology of Dallas Willard: Discovering Protoevangelical Faith, by Gary Black. This book is must reading for all who have been deeply influenced by Dallas Willard. The first chapter alone is worth the price of admission. As I read it I wrote in my journal, "Now I have finally identified my place in history."

The Cambridge Handbook of Metaphor and Thought, edited by Raymond Gibbs. My doctoral dissertation was on metaphor theory. I have felt that God is calling me back to this, so I purchased this text of recent scholarly articles that bring me up to speed on recent metaphor studies.

Run With the Horses: The Quest for Life at Its Best, by Eugene Peterson. Linda and I are devouring everything Peterson has written. Bono ("U2") says this is the book that changed him.

The End of Memory: Remembering Rightly In a Violent World, by Miroslav Volf. Volf is another writer I can't get enough of. This book fills out more of the studies I've done on "remembering" as essential to spiritual formation.

Your Church Is Too Small: Why Unity in Christ's Mission Is Vital to the Mission of the Church, by John H. Armstrong. Thank you John for gifting me with your book. I enjoyed meeting with you over coffee. I'm slow-cooking in it, and finding it well-written and important.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X, by Malcolm X. Because I am so blessed to be a professor at Payne Theological Seminary it is my glad duty to constantly read in the area of African American religion and history. Malcolm X's book is required reading.

***

My book, which I have not only read but re-read and revised ad infinitum, is Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.

A Letter to My Spiritual Formation Students

Dear Payne Seminary Spiritual Formation Students:

I am so thankful you are in my class. Here are some things I want to share with you as we are nearing the end of our first week of praying.

I am praying that you would pray. I am praying for the desire for relationship with God to deepen in you.

Remember that praying is not something you have to do. Praying is not a duty. You don't have to pray. But if you desire to, you will.

I shared this example in class. Imagine I told Linda that the reason I talked with her and listened to her was because it was my duty as a husband to do so. I am certain this would discourage her. She would wonder if I loved her.

Where there is love, there is time. When prayer is merely something I have to do then we have the problem of finding time to pray. The one who says "I just can't find time to talk and listen to God" is the one who does not love and desire God. This is because love and desire always lead to discipline. That is, desire always leads to action. Real faith is deed-producing.

A praying person prays because they have a heart for the relationship, just as a guitar-shaped heart inexorably practices.

I am praying that God-desire will capture your heart. When this happens, you will not be stopped.

Blessings,

John

You Are a Beloved Somebody

Warren Dunes State Park, Michigan (one of my favorite places on the planet!)

In 1 John 2:7 followers of Jesus are addressed as "Beloved." Which means: dearly and deeply loved by God. 

Our belovedness, by God, is independent of our performance, be it good or bad. 

God wants to rescue out of our dark attitudes and behaviors. This is how he loves us. We are God's beloved daughters and sons.

The heart-realization that I am beloved engenders self-respect. Self-respect forms the foundation for a humble life. Henri Nouwen writes:

"Humility has nothing to do with self-rejection. You can only be humble if you have a deep self-respect. Self-rejection cannot form the basis of a humble life. It leads only to complaints, jealousy, anger, and even violence. It is a most dangerous temptation. I know this from my own experience. Every time I start to experience myself as worthless or useless, a “nobody,” I know I am on the slippery slope to isolation and dark emotions." (Henri Nouwen, Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life, pp. 26-27)

If you are one who believes in and embraces and follows Jesus, then you are a beloved somebody.

***
My new book is Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.

Please - Don't Get Married to Him (or Her)!!!

Sunglasses - Linda's and mine

Gary Thomas writes:

A dysfunctional dating relationship sealed by marriage doesn’t make any problems go away; it simply cements you in a dysfunctional marriage.

If you don’t witness character transformation before marriage, you’re foolish to expect it after marriage.

Never marry someone hoping they will change. Marry someone because they already have changed.

It is better to be frustrated in your singleness (if you are frustrated at all) than to think a dysfunctional marriage to a dysfunctional man or woman would be better because at least you’d be married.

Please, please, please: marry an emotionally aware, relationally gifted believer who is humble, spiritually alive, and sexually whole. And, whose life displays moral character now. If you compromise on any of these, you will have a long time to regret it.


For more detail see: "Please Don't Marry Him."

Get Thomas's book The Sacred Search. If you need convincing look at these reviews. 

"Gary Thomas looks at the heart of a subject that many consider him an expert on—successful marriage. Anyone who is dating, engaged, or hopes to be one day needs to read this book!"

(Ed Young)

"Singles, pay attention. Gary knows marriage, and is eager to help those of us desiring marriage get there with confidence and grace."

(Lisa Anderson)

"Gary Thomas debunks the mythical search for a soul mate to help you choose a 'sole-mate'—someone who will lay down their life in faithful love. This biblically based book is for anyone who wants to be wise in their pursuit of a spouse."

(Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott)

"Gary creates a compelling argument that shifts the believer's view of relationships, dating, and marriage to focus on something greater. I'm thankful Gary has created this resource."

(Joy Eggerichs)

"The Sacred Search will help those who desire marriage to pursue it in a manner that deepens their faith, honors God, and blesses their future spouse."

(Jim Daly)

"Marriages are falling apart all around us and I believe Gary Thomas has just gone straight to the root. Gary just built a map to help you see through the emotion and infatuation to God's heart for dating and marriage."

(Jennie Allen)

"Our culture is obsessed with compatibility and chemistry. However, in relationship formation character always trumps chemistry. The Sacred Search is a gut check for anyone considering, delaying, or even pursuing marriage."

(Ted Cunningham)

"Why should I get married? could be the most important questions Milennials are asking. Gary Thomas helps this generation navigate thewhy in a Christ-honoring way."

(Esther Fleece)

"Filled with questions to make you think and teaching that will bring 'aha' moments, this book is a must read for everyone considering marriage. I highly recommend it to you—I wish I'd had it when I was single!"

(Linda Dillow)

"Gary Thomas dismantles contemporary philosophies on love, sexuality, and marital union by offering strong arguments for why they have not been successful. His appeal to a kingdom-first perspective gives both hope and healing for a generation in desperate need of a fresh and Christ-centered understanding of God's plan for marriage. This book is a must-read before anyone says 'I do.'"

(Michelle Anthony)

Two Relationship Lies, & the Key to Relationship Fulfillment

Leaves, in New York City

It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone 

that we can have a real relationship with them.  

- Anthony Storr

Two Relationship Lies

1. I need this person to be complete, and
2. If this person needs me, I’ll be complete.

“If you try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself. This single sentence holds the key to finding genuine fulfillment for every relationship. If you do not grasp its message, the best you can hope for is a false and fleeting sense of emotional closeness, the kind that comes from a series of temporary attachments. Once the truth of this sentence is understood and internalized, however, you’ll discover the abiding comfort of belonging— to family, friends, the love of your life, and ultimately, God. A solid sense of who you are provides the foundation you need to forge friendships that last and to find your soul mate.”

- Parrott, Les and Leslie. Real Relationships: From Bad to Better and Good toGreat, Kindle Locations 155-163

The Lord Is My Shepherd (Leading the Presence-Driven Church)

Tipp City, Ohio

Option 1 - The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. (Psalm 23:1)

Option 2 - I am my shepherd, I shall be in want.

Atheist Timothy McVeigh chose option 2. Logically, he was correct, given his atheism. That is, if atheism is true, then as Nietzsche told us we are adrift in a dark universe where there is neither up nor down, forward nor backward. On atheism our lives are planets orbiting nothing. So McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber, quoted these words from "Invictus" as his last: 

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

This was McVeigh's final statement. On atheism all we are left with is self-shepherding. I've been there, done that. My autonomous ship once spun in the nihilistic vortices of nothingness. Such was the comic absurdity of "mastering" (engineering - ha!) my own fate.

At age twenty-one I deconverted from option 2 to embrace option 1. I found my Shepherd. My Shepherd found me. I am no longer wanting. 

My Shepherd's macro-capacities transcend my micro-abilities. He leadeth me and enableth me. Thank God that I am not captaining my own soul. I have been freed from the blindness of self-mastery.

So I connect. I get alone with God, as Jesus did. Like Jesus, I meet with the Father to find out what the Father wants me to do, and to receive power for the doing.

Ruth Haley Barton writes:

"The raw gift of leadership may be there—as it certainly was for Moses—along with a strong sense of what is right and what we think needs to be done in this world. But our leadership cannot be a force for good if it is not being refined by the rigors of true solitude, that place where God is at work beyond what we are able to do for ourselves or would even know how to do for ourselves." (Ruth Haley Barton, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry, p. 43)

Option 2 - I am my shepherd, I shall be in want.

Option 1 - The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. (Psalm 23:1)


***
My new book is Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.