Friday, January 26, 2018

Never Work Out Conflict By Texting

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Weed, in my back yard
When working through conflict the best way is face-to-face.

Next best is by phone.

Worst is by texting. It may be worse than doing nothing at all.

NYU psychologist Adam Alter writes: 

"Many teens refuse to communicate on the phone or face-to-face, and they conduct their fights by text. “It’s too awkward in person,” one girl told Steiner-Adair. “I was just in a fight with someone and I was texting them, and I asked, ‘Can I call you, or can we video-chat?’ and they were like, ‘No.’” Another girl said, “You can think it through more and plan out what you want to say, and you don’t have to deal with their face or see their reaction.” That’s obviously a terrible way to learn to communicate, because it discourages directness. As Steiner-Adair said, “Texting is the worst possible training ground for anyone aspiring to a mature, loving, sensitive relationship.”" (Alter, Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, p. 41. Emphasis mine.)